Child Abuse Story From Jansen

by Jansen
(USA)

My life is perfect as far as material things. My dad bought his only son anything he wanted. Both of my parents are wealthy and respected citizens. For the first 11 years of my life my dad never really paid attention to me. Then, I remember it like yesterday, the week after my eleventh birthday, he came into my room while I was asleep. He climbed into the bed with me and raped me. He ignored my pleas to stop but I was no match for him. My father is very athletic, so my 95-pound body was no match. I remember that it was the worst pain I had ever felt. When he finished, he told me that he only did what he did because he loved and needed to spend time with me so I could learn about sex. He also told me that this had to be our "special secret." So, for the next 6 years, until I graduated high school, he continued to sexually abuse me.

The hardest thing dealing with the abuse was the fact that I told my mom when I was 14 about my dad's abuse, and she slapped me and told—no yelled—that I didn't need to lie on my dad. I sort of went numb from that moment on.

The other shameful thing is the fact that sometimes I feel that I really did deserve the abuse because my dad really did give me everything I wanted. That was another thing he said, that I owed him. I am absolutely terrified of my dad to this day.

I am 19 now and am at college. That was my only way out of that house. Everyone around only saw a nice, wealthy family, while on the inside my family was horrible. Full of secrets. I hate to go home during breaks, I have trouble trusting those around me, and I have this over-active need to be perfect. That's the only aspect of my life I can control. I have attempted suicide twice and I just don't know how to help myself....

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