Child Abuse Story From Janna

by Janna
(Canada)

Ricky - Abuser, married to my cousin: 
When I was in elementary school (between ages 5-10) and the boys I liked, I had only liked from kindergarten until around grade 4 (Ben, Ryan and Josh). I had many crushes. He (Ricky) was always on my case - usually about kissing them. I had never 'acted' on my feelings for these boys, and that was what I'd said. Jesse was the one who told him about them.

After this, the next things I can think about are him making eye contact with me. He would wait until I was look at him and then he would move his eyes to my chest and then back up at my eyes.

Every now and again he would grab my hand and hold onto it. I didn't like it. His hands are always rough and dirty.

The next instant involving him - I think it was when he was tickling me. He has tickled me before, be it the "belly-button plucker" or "getting-my-gizzard" (which I had thought fun). He was tickling me and I'd slid off the couch and onto the floor. He got Jesse to hold my arms. Ricky knelt between my legs and continued to tickle me. I was fighting to get away (as part of the game) and he grabbed the inside of my legs to hold me still. After I 'calmed down' (and Jesse was standing up away from us) he tickled me some more, but this time under the arm. I was still young and didn't wear a bra yet (I began wearing a bra on and off in grade 6). His hand went under my shirt. After he was finished 'tickling' me he sat up on the couch. I laid on the floor just breathing (being tickled was hard work). He grabbed my foot and started trying to tickle me but I had my socks on so it didn't really work. He let my foot go. It had landed on his lap. I went to move my foot and he took it again, this time pushing it to his 'area'. I tried again to move it and he said, "No, keep it there" telling me to "push" - I did as he said. I didn't know what he was doing. I was a kid - I felt it a little strange because I knew that it was his 'private'...but other than that, not a thing. He just kept moving my foot - up and down, "push harder" – "move your toes" - this went on for a little while. Jesse had gone downstairs I think (where my mom and his wife were cleaning up). It stopped the instant he heard footsteps. I do believe that I'd sensed (to add to my earlier suspicion) that what 'we' were doing wasn't proper.

I don't remember the time in between - nothing 'unordinary' (I mean, nothing different about him looking at my chest/down my shirt or having me touch him).

The next thing I can recall is Christmas Eve.

He sat with me and 'played' dolls with me. After a little bit, he took one and started touching me with it. He got up and shut the door. Then he used his hands. Before I knew it, I was laying on the carpet with my shirt lifted up (bra was on). He had one hand pushing down on my shoulder and the other on my crotch. He kissed me. Just with his lips. On my stomach, chest, cheeks and lips.

He left after he heard footsteps.

I don't remember coming around for a while after this. The next thing I remember is just him sitting with me and touching my legs and private.

After this - I remember he would put his hand under me and either put my foot or hand on him - he would pinch me or twist my ankle.

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