Child Abuse Story From Jamie S

by Jamie S
(South Dakota, USA)

i have been sexually, physically and emotionally abused when i was younger. i am 15 now, the abuse started when i was 3 and went on til 2 days before my 11th birthday. the sexual abuse has impacted my life the most though. i was sexually abused by my older cousin who is now in South Dakota State Prison for it.
this day my parents were drinking as usual and i was upstairs sleeping and all i heard was the door creek open and i woke up. he started kissing me on my neck and then moved down.. he pulled my pants and underwear down and started touching me. i kept my eyes closed and just pretending nothing was happening. soon after that i blacked out and it was as if i was looking down at myself and it happening.
when he was done he just left the room and i laid there and cried. i never told my parents about it. i thought they'd get mad and blame it on me so i told my older sister and she got mad because it was happening to her also and she told my mom for me.
My parents never did anything about it. They tell me that they were scared also of what might happen to them but they didnt realize that them worrying about themselves they were putting me and my 2 sisters in danger and lots of other young girls.
My cousin would usually do stuff to me at night when everybody was sleeping or when nobody was home. for a long time i blamed myself for everything that was happening because i never told him no and i never told him to stop when he was doing it to my younger sister. but now i am getting help for it and it is getting easier to accept that i cannot change what has in the past and that its not my fault. i was the victim, i didnt do this to myself.

Now the physical and emotional abuse is something else. my parents were always into their drinking and partying i remember times when my mother would abandon me and my sisters because my dad wouldnt buy anymore alcohol so she left with my uncle and only god knows what they did when they were alone but my mom was usually the one that physically hurt me. she would hit us with wire hangers and brooms and anything she could find. my dad did most of the emotional abuse. he used to tell us that we are no good and that we spend more money then what we are worth and just stuff like that.
Most of the time i believed my dad when he would say that stuff to me because hes my father and he wasnt suppost to lie to me. and that and all the other ways i have been abused has led me to depression, attempted suicide and plenty other mental illnesses. i am now in counceling and just got out of a psych ward and i got help there. my parents still drink but not much. they havent really drank as much as they used to since ive been out of foster homes.
I was in foster homes for child abuse and i loved the family i was with. they treated me like i was their own but thats a different story.

But i am Jamie and that is My Story.

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