Child Abuse Story From Heather M

by Heather Mcalpine
(Oregon, USA)

I am 30 years old. I'm a survivor of severe childhood trauma. My abuse started when my mom left my dad when I was age three. My abuser's name is JAMES W. S. He raised me from age three to thirteen and a half. This man brainwashed me by cruelty, torture and degradation. I have so many memories of this crap that sometimes it haunts me, especially in the middle of the night.

I remember when I was seven years old. Jim beat me with a belt so hard that the tops of my legs were black and blue, green and yellow. He was such a control freak that basically he beat me that bad for the fact that I wouldn't eat my cream of wheat. I hated cream of wheat and still do!!!!!!!!

As I got older and began to form an opinion, the beatings got worse. When I was around eight years old, we went boating for the day at Lake Selmack. We went pretty early in the morning, so we fished for a little bit and had some fun. Then, as it got later, I took a nap while we were on shore in a secluded area. I woke up to my mom and stepfather having sex. When Mom realized I had woken up, she started asking him to stop, but he wouldn't and didn't.

My mom worked all the time at a restaurant in town. Jim would get fired consistently for being a hot-head. Then Mom got promoted as second assistant manager at her job, and then I saw less and less of Mom. Once she got promoted she worked 16 hours a day salary pay. I only saw her on Mondays and Tuesdays after school. As Mom made more money, Jim spent it like it grew on trees. He developed a bad drug habit that escalated into more and more abuse.

When I was nine years old I met Jim's mother's boyfriend FRANK R. during summer, while Frank and Jackie, Jim's mom, came to visit from Carson City, Nevada. Frank was so nice to me. I used to fall asleep in his lap because I felt safe. Then Frank and Jackie invited me to visit for a month or so. So I went. I thought, Hell yeah...beatings-free-summer.

Sure enough, within three weeks, shortly after Jackie got a job at the Nugget, Frank started babysitting me. One month of vacation with Frank and Jackie turned into about two months worth of child rape. Every time Jackie went to work, I was Frank's little rag doll. I got back from Nevada at the end of the summer. I tried to tell my mom and Jim, but didn't know how. I didn't even know exactly what happened to me to try and explain. Anyways, I told mom and she came home from work and called the cops. Mom filed a report and nothing seemed to happen. Jackie called a few month's later because she was ill and was hooked up to an oxygen tank. Jim dropped everything to go see his mom in a motel room in California. Jim, Mom and I took a trip to see her and to confront Frank. Know one ever believed me, not to mention Mom and Jim felt sorry for Jackie, so there was no confrontation. Once again I was forgotten about. Jim used to say I probably liked it when Frank was raping me.

My mom was a very beautiful woman who had a kid at 16, and took care of herself. Jim used to make her stay in her bedroom while his friends would come over for drugs, because heaven forbid, my mom was supposedly screwing everyone. He cheated on Mom for years. Mom would find pictures of women posing on her truck in the mountains, not to mention I'd nark on him.

Things really took a change for the worst when mom quit her job and we moved to Lakewood, California. Jim got into crack cocaine and became incredibly schizophrenic. He would say there was writing on the clothing, end tables, walls, everywhere. It would supposedly say my mom plus some other man. He was a real sick-o. He used to tell me that my mom was a slut and a whore and I'd grow up to be just like her. He told me that for years.

One Saturday night during summer, I stayed up late watching scary movies, and I woke up to Jim down my pants. I was twelve. When I'd cry, he seemed to laugh and think it was funny. One time he said something regarding Mom and me doing something weird in bed because Mom was talking in her sleep. When I was 12, Jim repeatedly molested and beat me. Then he started talking about how we couldn't have sex because I'd get pregnant. I started confiding in my friend, Gen, and she told the school counselor. He called me in his office and asked me if it was true. I said yes, and they picked Jim up and took him to jail. The part that really sucked is it all went down on my little sister's 1st birthday. A social worker took me home that evening and released me to Mom. After the lady left me in Mom's care, Mom started yelling at me, calling me a liar. Saying, how could I do this? She was so concerned about welfare fraud that she didn't seem to really care about me. Jim called from jail on his one phone call deal as they were booking him. He called collect, and stupid me handed Mom the phone. She asked him if it was true and he said no. Then mom made a comment regarding maybe we should just send her away. Mom treated me like crap for three days. She was always mad and rude when I would come home from school. I wanted Mom to like me so much that I said I'd lie to make her happy. So I did. I said it was a lie and that I was jealous of their relationship. The abuse continued.

I have so many bad memories, sometimes I wish I would just get them erased.

Mom and Jim didn't split up until we moved back to Oregon. Jim would travel back and forth doing construction work with his brother. Mom met someone else, and then she left. She would still let Jim see my sister whenever he wanted. When I was a teen, I used to go with my sister to visit her dad just so nothing ever happened. I'm 12 years older than my sister.

Thank you for letting me post my story. Sometimes it can be a little comforting knowing you're not alone....

I'm a parent of a 7 1/2 year old boy. My son is my pride and joy. He's my everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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