Child Abuse Story From Hannah R
by Hannah R
i wasn't the easiest child, i wasn't always sweet....or kind...but i was five. Home was not a happy place for me, my mother would, how should i say this...."over punish" me. i was at first aways given time out at least once a day and it would last for an hour...me sitting in a hard stool at the end of a hallway while she screamed at me... i don't really remember what i did...i'm sure i did something, i don't really remember a lot from my childhood. ill tell you what i do remember....i remember being chased around the house by her....i remember her catching me....digging and squeezing into my arms....and then i'd be on the ground...and she would hold my wrists together and her face would be so close to mine...i could see her tense lips in between her yells. i remember being dragged into my room, thrown on the bed, my pants pulled down, that horrible smack as her hand collided with the skin on my backside. i remember being slapped in the bathroom, i remember being slapped in my bedroom, i remember soap being forced into my mouth. i remember being in the living room and being forced to the ground because my hair was being pulled as she screamed at me. i remember being a little girl and looking in the mirror at the red marks on my skin. i remember crying all the time, and most nights this would happen later in the night. i remember the things she used to call me, everything was a problem to her, to her i was selfish and careless and stupid. she made me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with my father. she would give me unfair conditions, and everything was a problem, everything i wanted. there would be an issue and the yelling would start. i was an "ignorant little thing" and a "bad girl" and when i asked what i even did she would ask me "are you stupid hannah? are you really that dumb and ignorant", i developed OCD and a lying habit and she would accuse me of lying all the time, and whenever i showed that i had OCD i would be punished, and yelled at, and threatened. "you better stop this nonsense hannah, STOP IT"and then when i said i couldn't help it i was screamed at even more, and hurt, and grabbed. i was always given random speeches about how i could be a better girl and how ignorant and stupid i was and how i don't try and how i am lazy. she would burst into my room and start screaming at me for a fight we'd had days before. i was in constant fear of when she would erupt, when i would be hiding in the bathroom to escape her. she would grab my face and squeeze it and yell at me, my whole life it was like this. if i said i didn't like her dinner..i would be forced to sit at the table until i ate it sometimes it would be 2 am before i finally caved in. she would only pack me sandwiches for lunch and i cant eat bread...and if i complained i would be screamed at and hit so i kept quiet and didn't eat lunch for years in elementary school. she was always an hour late to pick me up from school, i could never depend on her, she never came to my school performances even though she said she would, she would always forget about me in the street and walk off somewhere and leave me looking for her for sometimes hours. she was mentally unstable my whole life...one minute we would be hugging the next she would be slapping me. once i had my mouth washed out because i didn't smile at a baby in an elevator. school wasn't much better than home...the kids at school would call me stupid and ugly, for two years everyday a kid would beat me up during recess...slam and knock me to the ground....kick me....other kids would make fun of me....kick me...call me ugly...one tore up my homework...another harassed me for two years....he used to drag me into the boys bathroom and lock me in....or jump on me...or hide my things....he once almost threw me down some stairs....and choked me....when i was little my neighbor mentally abused me....and would hide in my house....and basically stalk me....i would have sexual experiences as a child....that would lead me to constant masturbation as a very young child....because i cant remember alot of my childhood part of me believes that i was sexually assaulted...or exposed to something inappropriate as a young girl....my whole life was fighting....or hurting...or insults....i dont think there was a day when i didnt cry...or a day when i wasnt hit or insulted in someway....i lost my faith in religion because my mother did not agree with my beliefs....when i wanted to go to my best friends house i was constantly accused of trying to replace her and my dad with other parents.... she accused me of crazy things. i have memory lapses....where i cant remember one year of summer camp...i think id had my first kiss but that was also the year two older boys lured me into the forest to show me something....i dont really remember what happened....most of the time im over what happened in my life...but there are those days when i need to share my story...and just let it out....thank you.  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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