Child Abuse Story From George

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Child Abuse Story From George

by George
(Undisclosed Location)

Growing Up at Home:
I'm now in my 30's and I've suddenly started remembering things that happened to me when I was a child. For the most part I don't remember the first 8 years of my life. I remember little clips though, and sometimes it is insane the kind of details that I can remember, details that are associated with these incidents.

I was a very sexual little kid. People don't like to admit it, but we're all wired to enjoy our sexuality no matter what our age. Anyway, during nap time I'd always take off all of my clothes except my T-Shirt. One day when I was four, my mom and my older brother came in where I was napping and my mom ripped the covers off the bed. I was exposed, half naked. I was embarrassed and humiliated. I was more careful after that.

When I was five or six I was out in the garage. Something happened and I said the f-word. He said, "We don't say that word. I'm going to have to paddle you". He walked over and picked up a piece of the 2x4 he was cutting up and made me turn around. I held onto the door handle while he paddled me with the 2x4.

I remember being 8 and bent over my bed. I don't know what I did. All I remember is the sound of my dad taking off his belt and the memory goes blank for me. I can't even talk about spanking kids because it just reminds me of how I felt when I was little.
My older brother took a lot of his anger out on me. One day he was angry, yelling and screaming with a knife in his hand. He threw the knife at me as I was sitting on the couch.

One day the older kids were talking about "blow jobs" on the bus and I wanted to know what they were. My brother took me down to the shed and took his shorts off and made me blow on his genitals.

When I was 14, my dad wouldn't give me any privacy in the bathroom. I'd be getting ready to take a shower and he would come in, making some excuse about needing to shave. I'd ask him to leave and he wouldn't. He'd watch me get undressed in the mirror. I hated having to take my clothes off with him there.

My mom didn't take care of me very well either. I rarely had clean clothes when I went to school. Sometimes she said it was my fault for not doing my own laundry. Elementary school kids don't do their own laundry though. She knew I needed glasses for at least two years before I actually got them.

I hated my childhood, and I'm still dealing with the things that happened to me during the first 8 years of my life. For years I tried to minimize what happened to me and say that worse things have happened to other people and that my childhood shouldn't have hurt me so much. It did though, and for most of my life I've felt broken. I'm just starting to feel whole again. It's a horrible thing to feel fractured in many pieces because of experiences that never should have happened to any little boy.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From George" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Child Abuse Story From George

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Oct 14, 2008

Part 1: What happened to you COULD have purpose...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

George, it is not at all uncommon for adults in their 30s to question the methods their parents used to raise them. Life experiences have a way of triggering memories, and in some cases, doubts and emotional turmoil. It is often a time of angst, as the memories flood back and as we (you) try to make sense of what cannot be made sense of. There are lessons to be learned during this time, but they can only be learned if the person is willing to open up to what each experience can teach.

George, you are obviously a very sensitive person: you were highly sensitive as a child; and I can tell that you still are. Use that sensitivity in a productive way. Use it to ensure you do not pass on to your children the emotional residue your upbringing left you with. Allow me to elaborate...

You remember the emotional pain and betrayal of being spanked by the person who was supposed to love and protect you, not hurt you; it's an opportunity for you to learn other effective methods of discipline for your own children that do not include spanking.

You remember what it was like to be exposed as a little boy by your mother and brother; it's an opportunity for you to teach your children about their sexuality in ways that are age appropriate.

You remember being paddled with a piece of a 2x4 for using the f-word; use this as an opportunity to teach your children by modeling appropriate language, and if they use inappropriate language, teach them that it is "potty" language and that it is disrespectful to use it anywhere but in the complete privacy of the bathroom when no one else is around to hear (or some such method). I've taken the liberty of detailing this method, which I used when I ran my daycare.

Part 2: Lessons Learned continued below...

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Oct 14, 2008

Part 2: Lessons Learned
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Continuing from my comments above...this is how I handled inappropriate language from the mouths of the 2 1/2- to 7-year-olds when I ran my licensed child daycare more than fifteen years ago. It was highly effective: one, because they learned that bad language was inappropriate and unacceptable around people. Two, they learned about respect toward others, and that I respected them. Three, they learned that bad language wasn't necessarily off limits, providing they went into the "potty" room (bathroom) where no one would hear them.

I had one little boy who, when frustrated, would run like mad to the bathroom to let out the curse word he was thinking, but he did so silently. When he was done, he would rejoin the rest of us, completely vented and ready to have fun again. But mostly, once I removed the "shock value" by allowing them to go to the bathroom to quietly use their "potty language" they weren't interested in using it. The results were even more dramatic than that...in a 7-child daycare setting, the older children taught the younger ones the lesson they learned about using "potty language". I can't tell you how adorable it was to see a 4-year-old helpfully (not bossily) and without prompting from me take the hand of one of the 3-year-olds and gently lead them to the bathroom to use the language. "Use your words" was a mantra in my daycare, as long as they were appropriate words.

George, as I'm sure you well know, no parent is perfect; few, if any, children come out of childhood unscathed to some degree. Depending on how you think about the remembered events of your childhood, there is purpose in them. You CAN turn it around for the benefit of your own children or those in the next generation if you decide to work with children.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, George. I do hope that doing so has been in some way cathartic for you.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Oct 21, 2008

Props to you.
by: Anonymous

I give you ton of props for dealing with all that you have done over the past 8 years. I just wish I could pray to take the pain away. I had a friend who is still experiencing the side effects of abuse from her family. God bless you both.

Oh btw, the laundry thing isn't that big. I had to do laundry since I was 6 years old. Sorry!

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Child Abuse Story From George

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Child Abuse Story From George