Child Abuse Story From Flo

by Flo
(North Carolina, USA)

I am an adult survivor of emotional, physical and psychological abuse. My mother told me she never wanted me. My father had left when we were very young. She and her girlfriend would leave us parked in the car while they went into the bar and drank (telling us they had a flat). She and friends, and our stepsister locked us in the bathroom while they played cards and we were made to sit in there with no lights on. My alcoholic older brother played the "ace of spades" game, where he would flip cards over and if you got the ace, he and my mother would lock us in a "backroom". I remember screaming and begging to be let out, as they laughed.

We were hungry, cold, and sent to school dirty, where the kids ridiculed me endlessly. My teeth were crooked, so she called me "Bucky Beaver". As a teenager, I had to go to the dentist alone and have them fixed; they turned out pretty.

We were left home alone so much, truant officers came, but no one helped. We were instructed to keep quiet if anyone came to the door. We were afraid someone would come and hurt us.

She hit us, beat us...it was basically being tortured for 18 years. She has no remorse, never tried to make it right. I will not have anything more to do with her. But it is a long grieving process still at 48 wanting my mother, or a mother, and knowing I had no mother, and no father. However, I have God, who wants me, so that is how I have to deal with it.

I am in a help group, desperate to recover. Some days are better than others. I just hope that people think about what you do to your children, so they don't have to suffer like I do. When I was young, I don't remember what age, I used to think if I had the nerve to jump out the window, I wonder if she would love me then. Or maybe my suffering would end....But I know God didn't let that happen so I will someday recover and help others.

God bless you all, you who suffer and you who help the suffering.

Flo