Child Abuse Story From Dr. Noria

by Dr. Noria
(Round Rock, Texas, USA)

I watched the "dissociation" video tonight, and I found myself crying, since I remembered my child abuse by my mother (verbal and physical), my father (verbal) and my siblings (verbal and emotional).

I am a 63–old-woman now, and all the abuse, and lack of love and affection that I lived, until I left home at 26, including the total dysfunctionality between all of us in my family, left me scarred for life.

I married a wonderful loving caring man, who passed away twenty years ago with cancer. He was very patient with me, and never mistreated me.

I never could find another good man who would accept me, mainly because I have been carrying my emotional baggage with me, which seems to affect me more as I am growing older.

I have driving phobia, due to being scared inside, of anything. I do not know if this is due to the severe beatings that I suffered from my mother, or because I lived yearning to have a loving father, who was always busy fighting with my mother. I remember that after every fight between them I would be beaten, for no reason, and the blue bruises would be on me for weeks.

I too, learned to dissociate from the physical pain, and just sit still and take the beating.

I have three college degrees, including a doctorate, but I have fears of anything and everything. I had therapy for years. I was prescribed antidepressants, which turned me into a "zombie", and it took me awhile to stop taking them. I developed anxiety attacks, or panic attacks. I have been having less now, with supplements and meditations, so, my childhood abuse has affected me all my life.

This is why I bought the book, hoping that maybe I find something that will help me heal and have more peace, and accept myself again.

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