Child Abuse Story from D.J.
by D.J.
(British Columbia, Canada)
When I was three till about five or six, I was watched by relatives a few times a week. My cousin used to have me come into his room and he'd ask me to lie on the ground. He would then lay on me and move around. He would offer me things if I'd lay down with him. This went on for way too long.
I was so ashamed and scared growing up. I have blocked most of the memories out of my mind, but now that I am an adult with my own children, the thoughts and pain are coming back. I feel paranoid for anyone to watch my kids, unless I totally trust them. I have suffered in so many ways over the past many years. I have panic attacks. I suffered from Bulimia. I used to jump into bed over and over again, sometimes more than 100 times, all through my childhood (OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Now I am on antidepressants, and life still isn't quite right. I still obsess over everything. I am an addicted shopper and it seems with everything I do, it becomes my complete focus.
I grew up with fantastic immediate family, but they never let me deal with this as a child. Now as an adult, I realize all the things that I missed out on from my youth. Although I have many challenges everyday, I am a very lucky woman with my own fantastic family now, but every once in a while I feel the need to talk about my experience. I would never expose my abuser—he's a married man with a lovely family—but I am going to get myself some help.
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