Child Abuse Story From Debs

by Debbie
(England, United Kingdom)

It really did happen: 
Your mother is suppose to protect you from danger and creeps but being married to a man with no education , who smokes and drinks and thinks he know everything and always right, treat his two kids like prince and princess, you are left feeling left out, what do you do - hope for the best. I was seven years of age when he abused me, my mother knew from the start, always getting beat for one thing or another, being called names and really suffered at his hands, being punched repeatedly time and time again.

I wet my bed until i was thirteen, and stuttered as a child. Left me feeling alone. Anything goes wrong in the house i was punish for it, even though it was their faults -i still got beatings, I had bad period pains - went to the chemist to buy anadin my mother says that i've been with some boy - her husband says that i was lying and got more beatings, my mother chose a man over me and believe everything they told her and i would get a beating for it. To date my mother does not love me like the others, in fact she looks at me with disgust and hates me because she married my father- who was very violent towards her, she used to call me a little witch. Especially if she (my mother) works night at the hospital back in the seventies, i would get a serious beating, and raped over and over again.

i called the police once, I had explain that he has hit me for the last time but he ran out of the house, my mother walked in and ask "What is going on" laughing out nervousiness. "Your husband has been doing his handy work again" i said she did not ask if i was alright but she waited until the police had gone and then laid into me with a belt, i could not believe what had just happen - i had no way out accept to run away if did that, i would get more beatings, when he came back into the house, they argued and he came looking for me and gave a beating again. i tried keeping out of his way but he cames looking for me.

when i left home i was glad, i was pregnant at 18 but because i had a hole in the heart i couldn't keep the child so i had a termination, all my mother could think of what was the neighbours thinking, it was always about her,keep up with the jones, everthing in its place evrything must be clean and tidy, spoke properly, dress smart. and yet i would still get a beating.

Even when he forged my mothers signiture to get a second mortgage, he came looking for me and gave a beating and said it was my fault - that i eat too much and need too much clothes my reply was "What about your two children don't they need feeding and clothing too" i knew what was coming next.

he had numerous affairs especially one named J who lived in Greenwich, she was not ugly or pretty, but he had slept with her my mother was upset, good i thought perhaps she will leave me alone. no not the case.

Whenever his friends came to the house they used eye me up and down, a guy named L came up to tried to touch me and i threw water overhim and told to leave me alone "look at what you done to me, you soak me" he went downstairs told him what happen he came up the stairs kicked open the door and beat me bust my lip and kicked me in the back.

when i reached sixteen, i have had enough i boiled some water in a pan and he came for me and i threw it at him and told if he don't leave me alone that i would kill him. left me alone for a year even though i left home he found me and raped again and a punched him several times he was shocked and realise that i was getting stronger he was getting weaker, but still tried to violent towards me.

After i had my daughter, he bought some clothes and baby food "i don't want it " he seem shocked "you are not her grandfather, in fact you are nothing towards her at all, leave her alone, do you understand"

Being a women in my own right the one thing i said i will never do, is beat my children and kept my word on that. I don't drink or smoke don't take drugs except medication for my heart.

To date i do not accept as man into my life that easily, i watch closely and listen to his words until i feel alittle safe but even then i just don't trust at all- it is hard for me. Although i have two children i looked after them very well but have to admit it was hard work and coped well.

Although he has been dead for about five years or so, i still sleep with the door open (my bedroom door) but that my worst fear in case he will came back but he is dead.

My family do not talk about it for the fear of hurt feelings at least i would get some kind of acknowledgement but i won't, but they do love to kick you when you are down or ill, i can put up with most things and some things i can't but thats just life.

emotionally living each day is a blessing that i have cope with the situation, therefore i keep myself to myself and i like it.

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