Child Abuse Story From Darlene C

by Darlene Chen
(Williamsport, Pennsylvania, USA)

Child abuse experience: 
I was abused as a child. I guess I was one of the lucky ones. My mom didn't abuse me, only my dad. I used to have to wear pants in gym to hide the welts. If my dad's day didn't go right, even my mom had to walk on egg shells. It hardly ever worked though. My mom had heart trouble and diabetes on top of that. He used to slap my mom so hard that she would fall on the floor. That's when we knew we would be in trouble. He would go get a loaf of bread and not show up for 6 months to a year. Us kids were happy when he did that. It meant no beatings.

My mom was strict but didn't abuse us. We knew when she said something we had better do it. She would take away what we loved most for a while.

When my son was 2, I had a lot of anger in me. I didn't understand it at the time but it was from past abuse. One day, my son was sitting still talking to me and I felt the urge to hit him for no reason. I went in my bedroom crying and started pounding on the wall. I bruised my knuckles up pretty bad. If that would have been my son, I could have killed him. I set up appointments the next day for help. Something in my heart told me that it wasn't right. Love wasn't supposed to be that way. I also made a promise to god that if I ever hit one of my kids in anger that I would give them up for adoption. I never had to go that route. I went to counseling and parenting classes.

I am now raising my son's daughter because of physical and mental abuse, neglect, and molestation. It's been a long 2 years but we'll make it. We have god on our side. She also went from counseling to home base, a more intensive program. Two people come over twice a week. One works with me to help me deal with her issues and the other one works with her in a familiar situation.

Comments to Jane from Exchange with Jane: what abusers and survivors need to know: You are very brave to put your story online. Even though you didn't get help in time, other people will. You did your time in more ways than one. I understand what you went through. I was lucky enough to have one parent to teach me right from wrong. I have a lot of respect for you for being honest. I can't put someone down that had problems as a child. You are going to save a child by being honest. You'll help a parent do what's right.

I am vice president of Baby James Foundation. We help abused children and their families. I love doing that. It helps me get through my past and helps Kayla with hers. She is the reason that I accepted the position. Everyone on board has experience with abuse in some form.

I wish you the best in life. People can say what they want. If you haven't been there, you don't know what it feels like.

Note from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.