Child Abuse Story From Darla

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Child Abuse Story From Darla

by Darla
(USA)

I'm not even sure how it happened or how it got to that point. In fact up untill a few weeks ago, i had convinced myself that it never did happen. I think i was about 8 or 9 maybe when it happened. I remember some things but not others so it's confusing somtimes. I remember smells and the way it made me feel and the exact way the room was setup.

Me and my cousins went to my grandparents house. Im not sure why we were there or what was going on that day but somhow we ended up in my grandparents room alone with my grandfather. He pulled his pants down and made us touch him. I remember the rom smelled like my grandmas perfume and the room looked like it always did. I'm not even sure about some if the details which makes me soo mad because i want to get it out and i have ignored ot for so long that i need to get t out. I don't know if it happened more than once i just remember feeling dirty and everytime i saw him after that i ran away. I acted weird and did sexual things for a little kid. I showed so many of the signs that i don't know how my parents didn't figure it out. I hate them for that sometimes. I blame them in some ways.

Anyway my grandfather died a few years ago and i actually felt better but at that point i was still denying it to myself that anything happened so i didnt know why i felt good that he died.

I'm 18 now and a few weeks ago a drunk kid was sick so i let him sleep in my room trying to take care of him and he touched me inapropriatly and tried to kiss me but i let it go because he was drunk but the next day i found out he was faking being drunk. That made me feel the same way i felt when that happened to me and it brought up all the feelings and i had to deal with it and stop denying it to myself. I finally admitted it happened almost ten years later and i cried for 3 days straight and i still have so many questions that will never be answered because my abuser is gone. My cousins never have talked to me about it so i never brought it up because i dint want them to have to deal till theyre ready. I havent told anyone but my boyfriend. My family worshipped my grandfather and they wouldnt believe anyway and i dont want to deal with it but if i talk about it i might stop denying it...so i'm dealing with it day to day and trying my best to find myself again.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Darla

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Dec 26, 2009

Darla:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Even if your grandfather were still alive, it is very unlikely that the questions you have would be answered. In fact, his death may well be the catalyst you need to begin your path toward healing and recovery. Please seek out some form of counselling for yourself. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 26, 2009

family secrets?
by: Anonymous

Dear Darla,

Thanks for sharing. So sad that you had to go through this...

I suggest to talk with others including your family members. Maybe some of your relatives have a tendency to imitate your grandfather?

Secrets in family's will come out and most likely your are not the only one. If you can start the healing process for your self and maybe for others too in your family. It is interesting that you got into a repetitive similar situation again.....

I hope you will find a good counselor and lots of help.

Hug to you

Dec 27, 2009

Always believe in YOURSELF. seek help, you'll be fine
by: maurice

Darla, your Grandpa was a sicko, not nice, He was very wrong no two ways about it. You need to bring clarity to recalling the incident. Does your cousin (s) remember the details of what you relate in your story. With her or them you can encourage each other to talk the incident through with a counsellor. Like Darlene, and Anonymous I too hope and pray you get real help so that you can let go of the memory and the trauma of what your memory vaguely remmebers. I am certain a family member will support you, But please tell a trusted friend who will hold your hand and walk with you to get help. who will love and hug you as being a wonderful and beautiful teenager. You had courage to tell on Darlene's site. It is your beginning to truly love yourself and believe in yourself. Now that your Grandfather is dead, bury with him that memoery you have. Letting it fade into oblivian out of your mind. Be safe, you know what is wrong don't let another use or abuse you ever again. Darla, thank you, Darlene and all her visitors especially me what only what is the best for you now. You are one big girl now, get on with living your life to the full. get involved with others in being active and alive, having a healthy mind in a healthy body. taking part with them in sporting and cultural activities. I can, I will, I must because I am worth it. I am, I am. look in that mirror and see the beauty of yourself, be gentle and kind to that beautiful body of yours. soothe all over with lorions and creams erasing any dirty memories you have of that incident in your Grand Parents room. perfume yourself back to reality. Build up your self worth and self esteem. Have a real friend or two outside of your normal boy/girl friends. one's who will cuddle you and listen to you when you share your intimate feelings with. Seek out a counsellor/therapist who will truly help you to grow and to bloosom. Think positive, act positive, be positive, Darla, begin today, say I can, I will, I must just for me. I'M SPECIAL, I LOVE ME. ERA GO ON HUG THAT LOVE INTO YOU. Always love and respect yourself first then share it out to the people you journey with.

Jul 29, 2010

Rude Awakenings
by: Anonymous

When her grandfather died things got weird. she slept with some guy when I was working. Slept with another guy while I was home waiting. Then fooled around with woman. Finally she met the right woman and settled down. It was then I devorced her or actually we worked on it together and were devorced. The things she told me messed me up pretty bad for awhile. I turned into a flasher and turned to a shrink for help. That was ok but he simply told me that I did it because I wanted to and until I wanted to stop it would continue. I did not want to be a pervert so put the brakes on and got deadly serious about getting control. I love my ex will always love her. I hate her piece of crap dead grandfather and am lucky that he is already dead. These people do not realize what happens to the little victims. They grow up to be big victims and the pain they feel is passed on to those they share with. I lost my wife but after I healed I got my best friend back and gained one as her friend is a "keeper". So Darla face the pain and heal because it is your life and you don't want him to have anymore of it than he as already been allowed to steal. Face forward take a step and then another. Love your friends and family. Feel heir love let it make you stronger. KH

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Child Abuse Story From Darla

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Child Abuse Story From Darla