Child Abuse Story From Dan

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Child Abuse Story From Dan

by Dan
(United Kingdom)

School:
There was an age gap between me and my brothers. Everytime i started a new school my brothers had already moved on. There was only one year where i was at the same school as one of my brothers and that was junior school. Everyone knew my brothers but i was not like them, i was a classic example of a wimp. Every sports teacher wanted me but i was the complete opposit to my brothers. I prefered books rather then balls but as soon as teachers knew who i was and who my brothers were then my life was decided. I hated sports, no matter how good my brothers were. My parents knew this but i got so much verbal abuse about how useless i was from teachers, i actually started to beleive them. My grades were threw the roof but physically i was next to useless. My Family loved me regardless but school, i hated school, i loved learning but i hated other peoples oppinions of me. I was treated like a geek, a swat, a no-hoper, apart from a few teeachers who thought sports were second to education. When people realised i was not as physically capable as my brothers the abuse started. I was a wimp and i got beaten up as a wimp. I was a geek and i got beaten up as a geek. Some students decided i was a girl and decided to use me as such. Sorry no insult intended towards girls. I just used that expression to show what happened to me.
I was often anally raped in the showers by a particular group of boys. Most of the time i tried to excused myself from sports which i manage to great success but not always. My brothers knew them, if i had said something back then my brothers would of kicked the sh*t out of them. I was scared, my brtohers were not around and i kept my mouth shut.
They all know now what i went through but they blame me for not telling them. I should of said something and they would of sorted it. They were not there, i was on my own. It is great having older brothers but when they have moved on and i am left sittng in a classroom full of apes. I have moved on though.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Dan

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Aug 16, 2011

Dan:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Please stop blaming yourself for what happened. You didn't tell because of fear, understandable fear. That doesn't make you responsible. The fact that your brothers blame you for not telling is ridiculous. You were not to blame. The teachers who chose to verbally and emotionally abuse you for what they perceived was a character flaw are the ones that set the premise for others to further assault you. And if your brothers had know and had "taken care of the situation" they would have been guilty of assault themselves. You are a good person, Dan. Don't believe the lies that others passed along. What other people think of you isn't as important as what YOU think of you. As I read your story I saw a smart and articulate young man. A young man worthy of dignity and respect. You do not have to live in the shadows of your brothers; you are your own person with your own set of gifts and interests. The world needs people like you, Dan. You did not deserve to be mistreated by the teachers or the sick and twisted little criminals who sexually assaulted you. You say you've moved on...without some form of counselling, what happened to you could easily come back to haunt you as you move through the various ages and stages of your life. Please consider some form of counselling in order to help you deal with the mistreatment and abuse. You didn't deserve it; you certain deserve help for the fact that you suffered with it. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Aug 16, 2011

Dan...
by: Anonymous

You were given a raw, crappy deal. Oh, and the teachers are wrong. you are not useless; you are worthy of love, protection, dignity and respect. Oh, and I know what it's like to be made fun of for choosing not to play any sports...and berating people who choose not to play sports is uncalled for. Oh, and you are not to blame for their ignorant behavior; they are to blame because they chose to abuse you. They had all the power and only misused it over you. I really hope that you are in a safe place now and that you try counselling.

Aug 17, 2011

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:
by: maurice

Dan from reading your natural sharing of what was done to you in that school by so called professional people and those sicko's of boys in the shower made me feel total empathy with you: Sadly there is always a percent of bullies or so called perverted thinking frineds who are cruel in all schools/colleges: I had them myself in the school I attended 40 years ago: Dan, you were so brave: it took courage for you to search for and find Darlene's safe-haven site to share in trustworthyness speaking from your heart: Darlene has given you her heart words in the words she wrote to you: You are highly intelligent have no doubt about that: ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Why schools still persist in forcing students to take part in a Physical Education Program is mind boggleing for me: Having said that Dan though: I have spent the last 40 years encourageing children/teens to take part in sporting and cultural activities: I know the benefit of it from my learning experience: I admired those who said to me that is not for me but I did encourage them out into the fresh air away from the 4 walls of their room in front of TV computer etc: Mixing with others your own age and gender irrespective of differences/orientations etc: Having a healthy mind in a healthy body is what I beleive in for all: Dan, integrate, mix, sharing your gifts and tallents with others: As you get older you'll be wiser and know better what I am encourageing you: Darlene has given you steeping stones of advice to move on in your thinking and your life: Act on her affirming words to you: Some form of therapy/councelling will benefit greatly DAN; Stay in Education: Think Positive: Act Positive: Be positive in all you do and say about yourself: I WILL: I CAN: I MUST: Why DAN: simply because I am WORTH it:

Sep 05, 2011

Me too.
by: Zeke

Sorry that happened to you. I know how it feels to be "used like a girl". It kinda makes you question yourself, you know? I've been in therapy for a few years now dealing with it, but after a while you just have to realize that if you don't move on they're going to ruin the rest of your life, rather than just your childhood. Hope that makes sense. I'm not really good at communicating.

Dec 21, 2011

Dan
by: Anonymous

Thanks Darlene, Thanks Maurice, Thanks Anon, Thanks Zeke.
Darlene thankyou, you will be pleased to know i am talking with someone. Early days i suppose but i sometimes take a while before i trust people. Maurice, seen your name mentioned so much on these pages, glad you found time to respond to me.
Things are not easy, talking to my brothers just creates hatred, something i know too much of.
Dean, my oldest brother is ok. I do tell him things i would not tell any other person. He is 37 married and i have 2 great nepthews. He is comming to counselling with me in January. At least he said he would. My feelings do not just extend to my abusers but to people around me at the time. Sometimes i blame other people for my abuse because they did not see it happening at the time. I have hated the wrong people sometimes and pushed them away to such a point that i no longer feel welcomed in their lives. Not just one life damaged but everybody around me as well

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Child Abuse Story From Dan

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Child Abuse Story From Dan