Child Abuse Story From Dan Part 3

Child Abuse Story From Dan Part 3

by Dan
(Wisconsin, USA)

My abuse took place over 30 years ago. This time I was 17 years old, a junior in high school. (See Part 1 and Part 2 of Dan's child abuse stories on this site.) At 17, I still had not reached puberty. I was totally hairless. No pubic hair, not even hair on my legs.

The guys in gym class always made fun of me. My nickname was "baldly." Not being an athlete made things worst for me, because I was not one of the guys. Because of this, I was a victim of abuse. It happened one night after dinner. Karen, who's brother was in my gym class, asked me to come over so that she and I could go for a walk in the woods. We were about a 1/2 mile in the woods when her girlfriends showed up. They started pulling my clothes off. I couldn't fight off the 10 of them. Soon I was naked. They were laughing and calling me "baldly." After a while, they pushed me to the ground and ran off with my clothes, leaving me naked on the wooded trail.

The next bad thing to happen was when I was drafted in the army. I was 19 and still no body hair. The guys in basic training called me "sugar."

One night, I woke up to having one guy holding my arms down, another guy holding my feet down, while one guy was rubbing his penis against my mouth, telling me to open up. Another guy was rubbing my crotch area, and saying, "Hey sugar, you're so soft and smooth. We hope you stay this way." I reported it to my drill sergeant. Nothing changed. It only got worse. They would hold me down while one of the guys would climb on top of me and rub his body against mine, at times discharging sperm on me. At times I wished I were dead.

Now after 30 years, I am having nightmare about this. Outside if this article, I have never said anything. My wife doesn't know yet.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Dan Part 3" are at the link below.

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Child Abuse Story From Dan Part 3

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Jan 31, 2008

Boundless abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Dan, you suffered unbearable and boundless abuse at the hands of so many people. Everyone in your life let you down: from your parents to your school mates to your army chums to your drill sergeant, and probably beyond. I'm hoping your wife isn't among those abusers.

When parents use physical discipline, they teach their children submission. And when parents further accompany that physical discipline with such demeaning "penance" of forcing that child to stand naked in front of whomever is around AFTER suffering the unbearable humiliation of a public spanking on their bare butts, they teach their children to be victims, victims of bullies, harassers and yes, even predators. When these victimized children go out into the world on their own, they carry that victimization like a stamp on their foreheads. Predators, criminals and other dreadfully malicious people can sense this in these children and young adults, which usually results in even more, often felonious victimization.

Healing and recovery, Dan, will likely only come with the help of a counsellor. I do hope you'll heed my advice and seek out that professional help. I also hope that you have a loving and supportive wife, a wife that will respond with unconditional love and understanding when you decide to disclose what happened to you. While I am honoured that you would choose my site to first disclose this horrible incident, I sincerely hope your fear and apprehension at telling your wife is unfounded.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Jan 31, 2008
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Submitted by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

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Dan, you suffered unbearable and boundless abuse at the hands of so many people. Everyone in your life let you down: from your parents to your school mates to your army chums to your drill sergeant, and probably beyond. I'm hoping your wife isn't among those abusers. When parents use physical discipline, they teach their children submission. And when parents further accompany that physical discipline with such demeaning "penance" of forcing that child to stand naked in front of whomever is around AFTER suffering the unbearable humiliation of a public spanking on their bare butts, they teach their children to be victims, victims of bullies, harassers and yes, even predators. When these victimized children go out into the world on their own, they carry that victimization like a stamp on their foreheads. Predators, criminals and other dreadfully malicious people can sense this in these children and young adults, which usually results in even more, often felonious victimization. Healing and recovery, Dan, will likely only come with the help of a counsellor. I do hope you'll heed my advice and seek out that professional help. I also hope that you have a loving and supportive wife, a wife that will respond with unconditional love and understanding when you decide to disclose what happened to you. While I am honoured that you would choose my site to first disclose this horrible incident, I sincerely hope your fear and apprehension at telling your wife is unfounded. Darlene Barriere Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator Author: <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/my-story-of-abuse.html"><i>On My Own Terms, A Memoir</i></a>

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Jan 31, 2008

"I love your name, Dan"
by: Linda

Dan you were a victim of circumsatnce and nature. There are alot of cruel people out there.Who have to ridicule other people to make themselves look good. I don't waste my time worrying about those idiots. You are alot better than they are, and a survivor. " Hang in there, Dan." You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.

Feb 02, 2008

loss of words
by: Anonymous

i am so sorry you had to go through this. i hope that you will one day be able to feel whole again. and stop having nightmares.

Feb 09, 2008

Thank You Dan
by: Brian

Dan
I want to thank you,for sharing your story with all of us.
As a survivor,you have taken the first step to healing from all of those years of abuse,and by sharing your story you will help other survivors come forward and start the healing process.

As a survivor myself I understand the torment and shame we feel as abused children,and this torment and shame stays with us as adults.

I'm 50 yrs old this year,and have spent the better part of my whole life overcoming the effects of child abuse,and I will admit even though I have come a long way in my own healing process.

The child abuse I suffered still torments me,and I don't know if I'll ever truly understand why I was abused by my father,who is supposed to love and protect his children.

As adult survivors of child abuse,it is important to remember that you are(Someone)and you are loved by those closest too you.

Dan you have taken the (power back) by sharing your story,and admitting you are a survivor of child abuse.

Believe in yourself Dan,and take that next step by sharing your story with your wife,and please take Darlene's advice about counseling.

Dan I want you to know you have our support and love,and you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Mar 06, 2008

hello
by: Anonymous

About your story, I am horrified about how you were treated by others just for being a little different. I can't believe people can be soo stupid and cruel!!!
Usually, it's the women who suffer this kind of abuse. I cannot imagine the damage and emotional turmoil these experiences have caused you.
I hope that you have found a way to vent out this anger you must be feeling. It may be a good option to confide in a trusted person. The more you expose this pain, the less power it will have over you.

Mar 06, 2008

To Anonymous below:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I just wanted to clarify something you stated about women normally being the ones who suffer this kind of abuse: More and more evidence is revealing that the abuse of boys is on par with that of girls. Men are only beginning to talk of their childhood experiences, for many reasons that are far too complex to state within the confines of this space. Societal biases have contributed greatly to prevent men from speaking openly; and I for one am delighted that more of our men are finally disclosing the horrendous child abuse they suffered at the hands of both men and women. We need our men healthy, just as we need our women healthy. I applaud men like Dan and others who have so courageously shared their stories with my visitors and me on this website. I truly hope they will continue to do so.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Child Abuse Story From Dan Part 3

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Child Abuse Story From Dan Part 3