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Child Abuse Story From Craig

by Craig
(Location Undisclosed)




I'm not sure if this counts as child abuse, but its had an effect on me, and I'm sure that it was wrong. When I was 9/10 years old, two older girls who were maybe 14/15 started bullying me, nothing much just physical bullying but one of them started becoming worse.. she used to make me touch her, lick her vagina, make me strip for her whilst she laughed. This continued for about 2 years, until she left the school we both attended - it became far easier to avoid her then. I said I'm not sure if this counts as abuse, I should probably have considered myself lucky to be doing stuff like this with an older girl when I was so young, but its left me with a fear of intimacy and an extreme sexual phobia - i'm now 27 and a virgin, despite having several steady girlfriends and attempting sex numerous times I just have a panic attack every time I try. Guess the reason I'm posting this is that I wonder if i should just get over myself, if I should have considered myself lucky, or if this is a kind of abuse which maybe should be reported or something. Thanks for reading.




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Craig

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Mar 08, 2010
Craig:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You WERE sexually assaulted. Females most definitely can be sex offenders. The fact that you are male does NOT mean that you should consider yourself lucky; exactly the opposite—you were victimized. Anyone who says to "get over yourself" or that "you were lucky" lacks understanding and awareness. And just for the record, comments of such lacking will not be tolerated on this site. What you are now dealing with are the messages you have received as a result of societal biases that males have always had to live with. And as a result of social biases, males seldom talk about their victimization. But you've opened up here, and that's a huge step. You need help dealing with the repercussions of being sexually assaulted, Craig, so that you can move forward in your life and allow real intimacy into your life without panic attacks. Don't be ashamed, because you have nothing to be shameful for. I suggest you seek out some form of counselling. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 08, 2010
Cheer up craig
by: Paul1

i feel you need some professional help to help you with your abuse you suffered and has left you lacking confidence in sexual situations. Sexual dysfuntions need special treatment you could see a private therapist or you could look up on sensate focus exercise plan which removes all the pressure away where you feel more in control. Its also good for anxiety and sexual adversion for child abuse issues. it would start by you learning to Relax focusing on something calming to use in your anxiety producing situations then would use a series of stages with your partner which increase intensity of touch. it works

Mar 11, 2010
Respecting the other is always a must for me.
by: Maurice

Craig, Great you arrived on Darlene's safe haven site. please read her commnet to you, she sure has put what happened to you in total respective. That girl abused you. probably used you too, building respectful relationships in our teenage years is and can be traumatic for many. That is why being RESPECTFUL of where the other is truly at in himself/herself in their sexuality and personal growth is most important. Teenagers can be the mos cruelest to each other when this RESPECT is not there. Again Craig read Darlene's comment to you. You'll be fine, once you accept I was abused sexually by that not so nice female. She took advantage of me in my vunerability/sensitivity at that time and did not respect me for where I was at in myself at that time. Be open to lerning from it and move on. Certainly Darlene has given you the greatest respect for telling your story. She surely gives you great hope for your future. You are normal as any of us who was birthed male. You are special, you are you very own self that Craig is what you must acknowledge and don't be making com[arrison with other males your own age at that time or now. Look in the mirror, who is looking back at you?? It's the me you need to love, honour, value, respect, there's greatness and goodness in me. Follow Darlene's advice and you'll be on the road to recovery faster than you migh imagine. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body, get off your bootom and get out there mixing and intergrating with likeminded people your own age taking part in sporting and cultural activities. Team sports are good for you evn just to prive that you are an equal and normal male for you years. Please follow Darlene's comment. Her heartfelt and professional knowing words will help you. So will your therapist or counsellor. Live well, laugh alot, love much, I can: I will: I must because I am worth it. Always believe in yourself. be true to yourself, be honest with yourself, let go of those years and whatever real negative feeling you may still have of them. Many men were there as teenagers too, you are not on your own. Hug yourself and let those who value you and respect you for who you are now hug you too. I'll be the winner, just heed Darlene's loving/caring words of encouragement to you.

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