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Feb 07, 2011
 Courtney:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Counseling is intended to work through the emotions of what happened to you. Counseling cannot change what happened to you; it can only help you to put it into perspective. But you must be honest with your counselor about the betrayal and anger you feel toward your mother, and all the other feelings you have, otherwise counseling won't be all that helpful. You only get out of it what you put into it. It's hard work. And you must be honest about what you are considering. Taking your own life isn't the answer; it would mean the sex offender is still controlling you and your actions. Don't allow that to happen. I for one am delighted that you are still with us. Another thing I must pass along: you did not have a "relationship with" this sick and twisted abuser; you were sexually abused by him. He's a sex offender and he chose to sexually offend you. Don't ever confuse a relationship with what he did to you. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Feb 07, 2011
 Strength
by: Anonymous

Courtney, you are still alive because you are strong. I know how you feel. The pain can seem unbearable at times. You feel there is no escape. But you survived. Many others in your circumstances wouldn't have made it this far. Hang on.

There is a way out. You have to find a way. I'm going to suggest some things.

First empower yourself. Remind yourself every day that you are alive despite them and their efforts to hurt you. And don't let them hurt you again.

Second, learn to build up some personal boundaries - emotional boundaries - that will make it easier for you to protect your feelings and your heart from those who hurt you.

Third, put physical distance between yourself and these people. Cut them out of your life and stay away from them and make sure that they stay away from you. Move, change your address, your phone number, your email address. Block them from your mind. That is one thing you have control over.

Fourth, find something that you can do that you're good at. It can be knitting, cooking, writing, making stained glass, running long distance or learning another language. Find something that makes you feel good.

Finally, become physically strong. Take up something that you would never have considered a year ago. Working out at the gym, taking martial arts like Karate or boxing. When you make yourself physically strong you'll come to realize that you can now protect yourself and you no longer have anything to fear. You will be in control of yourself and your life - not them.

Good luck!!

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...

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