Home
Sitemap
My Blog
Child Abuse Stories
My Story
Child Abuse News
Write a Commentary
The Lighter Side
Awakening
OpenSpace
Statistics
C/A History
Emotional Abuse
Types of E.A.
Signs of E.A.
Effects of E.A.
- Bullying
Stats for E.A.
Physical Abuse
Signs of P.A.
Abuse/Dis'pln
Effects of P.A.
Stats for P.A.
Child Neglect
Signs of C.N.
Effects of C.N.
Stats for C.N.
Poverty & C.N.
Sexual Abuse
Definition S.A.
Signs of S.A.
Effects of S.A.
Stats of S.A.
Sexual Abuse Victims
Male Victims
Female Victims
V w/ Disability
Disclosures
Sex Offenders
Male S.O.
Female S.O.
Child S.O.
Youth S.O.
Incest S.O.
Internet S.O.
Child Abuse Law
Age-Majority
Duty-Report
Intervention
Prevention
Stories of Healing
Exch w/ an Abuser
Visitor Comments
Letters from Readers
Link to this Site
Resources
FREE E-zine
Ask Darlene
Dating Violence
Privacy Policy
Site Search
[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Child Abuse Story From Confused and Abused SS

by Name Undisclosed
(USA)




I am a 45 year old woman and I know that I was sexually abused but I blocked it from my memory, I have tried to go back many times to see the person was but I cant or wont allow myself to see him. all I remember and I will try not to be graphic is an adults erect p***s and it was red (sorry but thats from my child memory) I remember feeling it was wrong and my body froze with shock. I also remember my grandfather molesting me but the first man was different, I hate to believe it but it may have been my father as I remember feeling very vulnerable and powerless of him and my brother, that I thought as soon as I started to develop my body (puberty) I was going to be raped and I would not have a choice as i was not allowed to own my body, my Father told me once that he owned me. I also saw my father dress my mum up in clothes I wore and they went off to have sex with her dressed like me, that makes me want to vomit. He put his hand up my skirt once mucking around when I was about 22 and I said NO you cant do that you are my father he said I can do that because I am your father. He also came home drunk and got in bed with me one night I was about 18, I froze and he made me scratch his back and told me to scratch his and then he went lower and touched my backside and then he suddenly switched the mood and pull the mattress on us and started laughing, but he said as he left... dont tell your mother. Please is there anyone out there that can tell me I could be right that it could have been him or am I crazy. I have never felt safe around my father sexually ever EVER, as he has got older its better but I am very careful what I wear around him as I am still a bit afraid of what I do not know.



Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:


Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.




Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Confused and Abused SS

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 15, 2010
 You are NOT crazy...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your gut feeling is one that cannot be ignored. It comes from a place you must trust. But please don't be afraid to get help from a counsellor. Always remember that what happened to you was in the past and the past cannot hurt you. This was a lesson I had to learn myself when I was in therapy many years ago. Talking about it and getting the feelings out in a safe environment is just that: safe. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Jul 15, 2010
 Let Go: But get Help please:
by: maurice

You'll be fine SS once you forllow the loving, trusting, caring heartfelt wortds from Darlene: She truly knows best: That past can't hurt us any more but the effects of what happened us during those years can: Your know what happened to you was wrong: Nothing you could even though you tried abuse happened: It was never ever your fault: Don't blame yourself: Don't carry the fears and doubts about it any more: Begin to day just to do what Darlene knows will help you move on: Live well: Laugh alot: Love much beginning with your wonderful and beautiful self: Think Positive: act positive: be positive in all you do and say: Darlene was a winner over abuse so she knows exactly the road you must take right now and let go of your doubts and fears: It will take time but once you begin to tell your feeling in a safe place to a counsellor you'll quickly put all your feelings of those horrible times for you into perspective: Always believe in yourself: I can: I will: I must because I am WORTH it> You'll be fine live your life to the full with your special friends who value you, love you, resepct you for who you are today in their lives: Learn from the past: Live for the NOW and hope for the future:
Jul 15, 2010
 Darlene and Maurice
by: SS

Thank you both for your words, Darlene, I have not read your story, but I will in time, I want to thank you on behalf of all the survivors that write in to this web site, you must have come a remarkably long way in your healing.. so you understand dont you? You understand each and everyone of us. I beleive you are helping,saving,healing and giving back each one of us the love and respect we need/deserve. I cant thank you enough for giving US ALL a voice, I dont know you I dont know any of these brave people and children, but I feel we all belong to a family on this site, its a safe very kind place... I cant tell you how much that means

Maurice, you write in with such encouraging words, I dont know your story or your life but whatever has happened you have turned it all to love, thank you for your words of love and support. You are so kind.
Aug 10, 2010
 SS
by: Lince

I have had the same problem. My mother molested me and i have blocked out my memorys of that. I dont really want to remember either because i dont want to see her in a different perspective
Aug 14, 2010
 Thank you too: You are the bestest:
by: maurice

I was away from the site for a few week because I was moving house: I am settled again, well just settling again, I only arrived ion my new house 3 days ago: I've missed you and all whom I have come to know and empatise with since I told my own story a while ago now: Great to read your Thanks wonderful and true person: I we are indebted to Darlene for her vision, words of love and support and real help if we act on her woman's heart comments to each of her visitors: She's the greatest: I pray and hope you are living your life to the full and still letting go of all the hutt and pain done to you: Always believe in yourself: You be always in charge of your own life and destiny: Hi LOVE yourself:

Click here to add your own comments