Child Abuse Story from CM

by CM
(Malaysia)

I was 5 or 6 years old when a teenager living in my neighbourhood came by my home offering candy every time I was home alone.

He came with candies every day. Then one day he said let's play a game. But I must never tell anyone about our game. He touched me, he made me hurt, and I never knew it wasn't a game.

Until one day I bled. My mom was angry when she saw my bloodied garments. She kept asking, "What have you done?" I wouldn't tell, because it was our little secret. Then Mom got so angry she pinched me to get me to tell. It hurt so bad, I wasn't sure it was because of the game or because she pinched me so much.

In the same year I was punished and beaten in public by a lady for accidentally cutting her child's foot. The audience of my punishment aged from 5 to 30, male and female, just stood and watched. They wouldn't even let my brother come to my aide.

I was never the same child ever since. I had always remembered both incidents, but never in detail. I suppose it was my own way of protecting myself, and not wanting to deal with it.

I am now 23 and on the route to recovery and healing. It seems like such a long journey, and I still have self esteem issues, anger management issues, but most of all, I can't get over the fact that my mother hurt me further despite the signs.

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