Child Abuse Story From CLB
by CLB
(Location Undisclosed)
Confused:
i dont remember everything clearly. i thought it was every night. i dont even remember my childhood. it seemed like everyday and night but when i told my dad he said he didnt see it. im so confused. he said he saw it once in a while. but he wasnt around or home was he? i remember being slapped. i remember being chased and caught. i remember being grabbed and sort of thrown down and her standing over me. i remember my hair being pulled so hard. i remember my pants being dragged down and being spanked. i remember being hit as i was getting away from her. sometimes i was dragged a little and her nails dragging into my skin. i remember looking at the red on my back and butt and arms. i remember my mouth being filled with soap. i remember being overly punished for no reason. i wasnt that bad of a kid. i remember being forced to apologize for nothing. the door being slammed in my face. from 4-13. is this normal? is this abuse? am i making it up? i remember being threatened with a belt. and being thrown in my room, dragged really and locked in. alone. no supper. i know i wasnt the best kid but did i deserve it? she called me things. i was a brat, i was carless, stupid, later i was a b***h. i dont even remember the other names. i coudlnt do anything right and i am so confused. i remember being grabbed and insulted and guilted every night by her. being embarrassed and called names and hit. but am i making it all up? over reacting? im 15 now. and for years i was socially retarded, and had crazy thoughts, panic attacks and a server case of OCD. i still suck my thumb and basically dont have feelings. i cry randomly when people talk about things that remind me of her but i have no idea why i am crying. i feel like she did more to me then just hit me i feel like it was more severe but i dont remember. i feel so stupid. my dad doesnt understand, and told me basically i was making it up. i told my friend but she dismissed it and compared it to her problems. i am so confused. is it normal for your mother to treat you like this? to pretend to love you and say she does but then freak out at you and you dont even know what you did. to hurt you emotionally everyday and often physically. i am so confused. am i making it up? is this even considered as abuse? i feel so stupid...liek i am a liar. i had a serous lying problem as a young child. i could never face the truth. i dont understand. every time someone raises their hand i flinch because somewhere deep down i remember being hit. and i feel like whatever happened ruined me. im weird now. an out cast. no one understands me. i need someone who went through it with me. i dont know what to do. thats all i remember of what she did. the emtional was worse then i can explain.
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