Child Abuse Story From CJ

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Child Abuse Story From CJ

by CJ
(Location Undisclosed)

My parents had to get married because of me. I think that is the reason i was the only one beaten and abused, they loved my younger sister and she could do no wrong.
The earliest memory i have is of my mother crying and my father threatning her with a knife (arround the age of 4) There are no other memories of her ever being abused, they did fight all the time and he did verbaly humiliate her but that was all. For the longeste time i did think i was adopted since my sister was so spoiled and loved and i just could not understand why they did not want me or love me. If i had a school trip (in our elementry every one had to go it was provided) I would get a little money for lunch, i would never eat but save it to buy them a souvenier. Every time it would get thrown out and i would get yelled at for spending money on junk (sometimes i would not eat from 6 am to 8 pm just to get them something) Every week at least 3-4 times he would be in a bad mood or angry about something (whatever it was it was my fault)and make me climb on the dinner table and make a fist and punch me so hard i would fly off, then he would make me walk back and climb back on and he would do it again. The whole time he would be screaming and spitting at me how i was worthless and they did not want me and i was a bad child. In the mean time my mother would stand behind him jumping up and down screaming;"not in the head, not in the head you do not want a brain damaged one". If i enjoyed something and they would notice it was taken away or given to my sister, when i was little i had a teddy bear that i loved very much, i could not play with it when he was home because he would start kicking it for fun. My sister could do no wrong and she knew it we were told all the time that since i was the oldest it was my fault if she did something wrong and i would be punished for her wrong doings. She knew this and used it. When i was 6 she beat me in the face with a wooden hammer because i did not want to play inside like she told me. She broke my eyebrow (i still have the scar) I went to my dad because the blood was running in my eyes, he got mad at me because he had to take me to the doctor for stiches. While we were at the doctor he told me that if i dared to cry while they stiched me up he would beat me so hard that i would not walk for a week. He told the doctor i did not need a pain killer because he did not have the time to wait for it to work, he stiched me up without one and i never did cry. I never told any one not even my husband till i was married 18 years. He told me to confront them , they denied it all it never happened and if it did the only one who suffered was my sister because she had to see it and she is so sensitive. I do not want to see them any more or speak to them. My husband thinks that is wrong (he grew up with a very loving family) I just want to be left in peace.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From CJ

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Jul 10, 2011

CJ:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Firstly, I must say that no matter what, none of what happened was your fault. Fault is on the shoulders of your abusers because they chose to abuse you. You had no power; they had it all, and they misused that power. There are many reasons a child is targeted for abuse, none of them good, but they are explanations. If you haven't already, check out my Why parents target a specific child for abuse here on this site. What important to understand is that there is no excuse, only an explanation. But also understand that you were perfect as you were—ARE. What was wrong was the cruel and horrendous way your parents chose to deal with you. Yes, your sister was also abused emotionally, but in a completely different way. She was forced to witness the beatings on you (whether in person or in knowledge) and she was taught that beating on you was okay. This set her up for challenges as a growing maturing woman. That's not to take away what happened to you. As for your husband, he's misguided. When he insists that you continue a relationship with your parents when you've said no as a result of abuse, he is essentially asking/telling you to continue to be abused. He likely doesn't even recognize this, but it's a form of betrayal. As for confronting your parents, I do not advocate confrontations because they are wracked with outright denials, minimizations and/or the finger of blame is pointed to the victim. This leaves the victim further victimized. When we try to confront our abusers we are generally looking for them to take responsibility and say they're sorry...that rarely happens; and then it becomes another trigger. Please seek out some form of counselling in order to help you through all this, CJ. You didn't deserve to be targeted. You deserved to be love and treated with dignity and respect. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you weren't. And your husband needs it too so that he can be a support for you throughout this process and so that he can understand what you're really going through. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jul 10, 2011

Such uncontrolled sadism
by: Anonymous

CJ, you were given a raw deal. Your so-called parents are so twisted in their own ways of thinking that they don't even know how to take care of themselves; not to mention be parents to you. They are really sadistic brutes too and they should be in prison for all those terrible crimes that they committed against you because you did nothing wrong. Oh, and did I mention that they also abused your sister by teaching her to be anti-social towards you? Oh, and they are wrong. You are not bad; you are a good person. You are not worthless; you are worthy of love, dignity and respect, all of which you were sadistically denied of. Most people who treat others the way you were treated often do it out of jealousy because they could never be such a shining star that you are. Oh, and forcing your doctor to stitch you up without painkillers is a cowardly thing to do. You are not to blame for their sadistic, ignorant behavior; they are to blame because they chose to abuse you. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you. I hope that you try counselling.

Jul 11, 2011

I am taking charge of my own life's destiny: I can: I will: I must : because I am WORTH it:
by: maurice

Hello CJ: Great you found Darlene and many aquaintances maybe friends here with her in her safe have site: One does not have to be afraid to let it all out the way we are feeling in truth what happened us when we were abused by Bigger people Adults than us: Our abusers have alot to answer for (Yes, they need help too) But so many are in denial like your parents that they need to be put away from society so that they can spend 24 hours in a lock up working out The Why? I abused that innocent and vunerable child: Why I stood her up on the table and punched her with my big fist: CJ Read Darlene's comment: with your understanding husband and friend: Between you: Her woman's heart words of love, empathy, understanding, and what Really matters for you to put value on: I AM NOT TO BLAME: IT WAS NOT MY FAULT: I was the little gentle, innocent, girl who he just wanted not to hurt and abuse and frighten to stop: CJ let go, begin to live your life NOW to the full: Surround yourself with loving caring people (Friends) Live well: Laugh Often and LOVE much especially the beautiful me looking out at you from the mirror: Be gentle and kind to yourself and that beautiful body of yours: Massage scented oils and creams into it and then hug and cuddle yourself: It is a great feeling CJ Take Darlene's comment into your heart use whatever in it that will help you to let go and be a winner over That brute/beast of a man: Does not deserve the Name Father:

Jul 16, 2011

The strange connections we make
by: Heather

I truly understand the things that has happened to you. I went through some of the same abuse and found drugs and doing harm to myself comforting. I admire your strength to confront your parents, i wish i could do the same but once i left home at age 13 i made it clear to myself i would never return... now today i'm 21 (7 years later) and the memories still haunt me so much i cry myself to sleep. My father was a horrible man and only cared about himself; he made everything i did seem as though it was my fault and I fear that i will never love anybody cause i rarely trust anyone to get close and comfortable with them. Stay strong and undertand you are a victim that survived through the some of the worst possible conditions(:

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Child Abuse Story From CJ

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Child Abuse Story From CJ