Child Abuse Story From Christina B

by Christina B
(Philadelphia, USA)

Note from Darlene Barriere – Webmaster: 
The following poem was submitted with Christina B's The Lighter Side contribution titled Writing Since I Was 8 on this site. I felt it was more in keeping with the intent of The Lighter Side, as well as paying homage to Christina's work to post it separately on this page as a child abuse story.

I remember...

I remember the slamming door
and the blood on the floor
I remember the tears, they fell
Others were fooled by your sugary spell

I remember the pain, I felt inside
And all the days and nights, I cried
I remember the loneliness that crept along
Fearfulness became my song

I remember the fear that gripped my heart
Though I try, it still won't part
The brokenness, the anguish, the pain
I always did love you, but it was in vain

I remember the sadness that took over my eyes
I lost that spark inside, each time I cried
I'd try to behave, I really did
I'd think of this every time I hid

I remember the words - you used on me
I thought that death would set me free
You told me that I would never feel love
I'd cry with the rain that fell from above

I remember how you looked at me, like trash
I was a rodent, disgusting ... a rash
That you were itching to be free and clear
You tried your best to get me out of here

I remember the day you said, "You should be dead!"
I sat on the floor, and wept, those words in my head
I agreed with her then, though she did not know

I was just 8 and I yearned for me to "go"

No father, no family... they'd all left
It probably was from the anger in your breath
My room became my shelter, my very best friend
And there I'd hide, praying your wrath would end

I remember, Mom, how you took away my youth
stole my innocence, stole my truth
I remember, Mom, how you stole my soul
The pain gripped my heart and yet, hasn't let go

I remember my 18th birthday, and how I packed it all
Though I was leaving, my whole world was raw
Broken, abused, battered and frayed...
I would have been dead had I stayed another day...

I remember, though, those tears in my eyes
How I want to protect that child who cries
But, that was me, and I am she
And though I am free... I will never be me

I remember......

Note from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.