Child Abuse Story From Chris

by Chris
(Undisclosed Location)

I am a guy. I'm depressed and asocial, and that's because there's not as much wrong with my self image as there is with my view on others and the world. My story started ten years ago.

I was a regular kid, my mother might have been a bit overprotective, but I still had friends, and did well at school. When I got to about ten years old, something bad happened. A friend of mine, Evan V* molested me, and it caused me a lot of pain, and I practically had a breakdown when I was 11. What was worse, was the fact that later on, maybe the next year, I had found out that this then ex-friend had abused a friend of mine as well and there were these other guys that were older than Evan* that had abused him too, messed up huh? Anyway, he went around and lied, spread rumors and pinned me as this monster, when it had been him all along, and I of course was too scared to say anything. Over the course of the next four or five years, I had fewer and fewer friends. People claiming I was a kiddy-fiddler, when I knew, and Evan* knew that wasn't true.

Years later, when I was 17, another friend of mine was raped by Evan* as well, and he said he was depressed and wanted to slit his wrists.

Just before I turned 18, I withdrew from so-called 'civilized society', and went off on my own, convinced I didn't need people, since they had put me through hell. I started to hate people, something that I hadn't done before. Embittered and twisted, angry and depressed, I lived alone for two years, until I thought, I just don't bloody care any more! I started to go out again, and forced myself out the door, kind of harsh, but I wanted to live my life, something that I felt I had never really had. It felt good, I got bold, until those words found their way back again.

All of a sudden, everybody where I always used to hang out glared at me, whispering to each other. Choruses of derogatory words were all that I heard, but I still went, even though then, I hated them more than ever. Until one day, you know when you hear someone say something, but you fear that you're wrong because you're paranoid? It was then that I felt so unhappy, that I left.

I started to see a therapist, and her only words were that I should have come years before.

People that try to tell others like me to change and get out and do things, I do, I try, but it's just not that easy, believe me.

*My therapist said I had to give him a name, may not be his real one.

Note from Darlene: Due to privacy and liability laws, I removed Evan's last name in favour of an initial.

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