Child Abuse Story From Chelsea

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Child Abuse Story From Chelsea

by Chelsea
(Oklahoma, USA)

On September 1, 1993 I was born into a loving family. Although times were tough, my mom was always there behind me, supporting my every move.

Jonathan: #1
In 1997, my mom, brother, and I all moved into my mom's boyfriend's house. He had a son named Jonathan who was 16 years old at the time. I remember one night when everybody in the house was asleep, Jonathan got me up and carried me into his room, shut, and locked the door. After the door was locked and we were alone, he stripped me of all of my clothes and made me have oral sex with him. I didn't tell my mom until 2003, when I was out of the situation and felt like I couldn't hold it in anymore.

You may be wondering what ever happened to him. Well, we filed reports against him and then nothing ever happened to him. My biggest fear is that he is still out there doing this to some other 4-year-old that was just like me. I sometimes wonder if it is my fault that he never got caught. I wonder if I could have said something, screamed, yelled, told him to stop, anything.

Jon: #2
In 2005, I was living in Texas with my mom and my brother. I went to church twice every week since I was born. There was a guy named Jon that always hung around me, liked to hug me, told me I was beautiful. I was always kind of leery about him because one time my best friend told me that he gave her a bra and underwear for her birthday. I should have seen it coming.

One day, at church, he walked me out to his car and started repeatedly kissing me, even when I would tell him to stop. I filed a report, but like Jonathan, nothing was really done except for getting kicked out of our church. You may be wondering why that doesn't seem to mean anything. Well, I will tell you why. It's because it shattered every ounce of trust I had for him.

Next door neighbor/landlord: #3
In 2006, we moved to Oklahoma when my mom got a new job. We found a really nice house, and the landlord just happened to live right next door. One night, at about 10:00, I was out walking my dog at the park and playing on the swings, when he came and swept me off my feet and kissed me. Tongue and all. I hated the way it felt, so I fought to get him to let me go. When he finally did let me go, I got my dog and ran away. The whole time I was walking back to my house, he was yelling and screaming at me about how much he would hate me if I told. At first, that really worked. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't want him to get away with it. So I had to tell my mom. My mom went to confront him, and of course, he denied it.

After that, I was so mad at myself for telling! I didn't understand why all of this always happened to me. I didn't know anybody that that had ever happened to.

Now that I think back, I hate what happened to me, and that none of them ever got punished. But then I think about how strong I have become from that. I am a survivor and nobody can tell me otherwise!!!

I just have 1 thing to say to other people who have been sexually abused. It is to never think that it is your fault that that happened to you! You did nothing wrong.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Chelsea" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Child Abuse Story From Chelsea

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Feb 10, 2009

You are definitely a survivor...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Chelsea, your message is an important one: It is NEVER a child's fault. Just as it was NOT YOUR FAULT that Jonathan and Jon and that landlord sexually assaulted you. What concerns me in your story is the message that telling is a mistake. It WASN'T a mistake to tell. I suggest you have been looking at this from a somewhat skewed perspective, as understandable as that perspective is. You must look at telling as a way to ensure the abuse comes to an end. Please don't get me wrong...I'm not for one second saying that these three shouldn't have had to deal with legal consequences—sexual child abuse deserves to be treated with swift and punitive action for the offender. What I am saying is that you can't measure the success of telling by the yardstick of whether or not your molesters were sent to jail.

Something else very important to remember here, Chelsea, is not to apply adult values to decisions you made as a child. You didn't scream or yell or tell him to stop, and you didn't tell someone because you were desperately afraid, and because you protected yourself from additional harm in the best way you knew how to at the time. You were a child, and as such, there wasn't a whole lot you could have done. As you got older and more mature, and as you became more aware you changed the way you dealt with the situation. Don't lose sight of that fact.

What needs to happen is for adults to learn and understand why children don't tell and why they do tell, and then to act accordingly through education at home and at school so that children in the future make different choices that will at the very least stop the abuse in its tracks: intervention is every bit as critical as prevention.

People like you, Chelsea, who have been through it personally must rise up and be vocal so that children don't continue to suffer in silence the way you felt you had to; that is the ultimate in turning pain into power. You've started turning pain into power by posting your story on this site. Thank you for sharing it with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 13, 2009

Brave Soul
by: Anonymous

Chelsea, you are such a brave young woman to be able to share with others this experience. You get it, and you are right - it is NOT your fault. So often this is the most difficult thing to grasp. I'm so sorry that those horrible things happened to you and at such vulnerable times in life. I wish you continuous healing on your journey.

Jun 17, 2011

wow
by: chelsea

oh my goodness. hi, im chelsea. i forgot i had posted this on here... this was in 2009 and i have another one that i wrote in 2008. when i looked back over this and saw how this had affected me just from last time i wrote about it, i can cry... i am not sure if this is a happy cry or a sad cry, mad, or what..just makes me want to cry... anyways, i do understand where u were coming from when u said what u said about my post.. thanks for the advice:) anyone who is reading this, just remember -- it is still not your fault.

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Child Abuse Story From Chelsea

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Child Abuse Story From Chelsea