Child Abuse Story From Casey
by Casey
(Location Undisclosed)
I Suffered In Silence:
I'm 23 years old. As far back as I can remember, was about the age of 3, I was emotionally and verbally abused by my own mother. For many, many years she screamed and yelled at me at the top of her lungs. Called me names like, "dumb and stupid, a**hole, etc.." She belittled me, made me feel worthless, like I had no value. I was so isolated. I hardly ever saw my friends and family. I don't know half my family like I should because I was kept at home all the time. I am an only child. I was lonely growing up. I never could talk to her. She is the type of person that she is always right and everybody else is wrong. If I had a friend over, (which wasn't much) my mom would scream and yell at me in front of them. Embarressing me to death. Making me feel like the smallest person on earth. I couldn't even go to her about female problems. She just got mad at me and blowed me off. I'd cry my eyes out and she didn't care at all. My ears would actually rattle because she would scream at me so loud. I thought about taking my dads shotgun off the wall and blowing my brains out. Just so I'd be out of misery, but I was afriad what would happen after death. My dad tried to talk to her about the way she treated me, but it just went through one ear, and out the other. Felt like to me that he really didn't care that much, he let it keep on happening. I guess no parent knows what to do sometimes. Neither one realized what that abuse was really doing to me. I never done good in school. I have no diploma. I had a really difficult time concentrating, always wanted some kind of attention and affection..I guess I just wanted to felt loved. I never had confidence, only very low self-esteem. I suffered everyday for 21 years of her mouth and cursing, and sarcastic back talking. Finally I moved out. She slammed the door behind me when I did. She'd give me these cold looks like she hated my guts. Like I just disgusted her. My parents always fought and cursed at the sky at eachother. Sometimes I'd lay in my bed at night, and listen to the awful things they said to eachother. The walls rattled. What makes me the angriest is, what I'd be like today, if I wasn't abused then. Theres a missing link in my head somewhere. Something is just not right. I'm negitive about a lot of things. I always think I'm wrong. I want to break out of this, whatever I'm in because deep down inside me I feel theres a firework..I just got to let it burst out and shine. My parents were married 30 years. They finally got a divorce this past March of 2011. My mom remarried in April. Nows she's a changed person. She treats me like a daughter should be treated. For many, many years I greived for this kind of mother. Now it's a little to late, because the damage it done. I needed her the most when I was growin up. I didn't have a mother...I had a monster. Rarely did I ever see her in a good mood. I've seen a good side to her before, but the bad over did the good by a looooong ways. 99% of the time she was a mean, cold hearted woman. It feels good that I now have a good relationship with her, but I wonder very deeply, why did it have to take another man, for her to love her only child. I didn't ask to come into this world. I didn't do anything to deserve that abuse. It's hurt me so...words can't hardly discribe it. It's all in my head. I wonder to this day, will I ever get over what happened then. I'm going to wait a few years, then I'm going to have a long conversation on the way she done me. I have witnesses as well. I hope someday she realizes what she has done to her daughter. To the other people that suffers in silence, hang in there...it won't last forever. One day you'll break free from this touture. You will never forget it, just don't give up. What goes around comes around. It's true. Romans 12:19 KJV Pray for the abuser. Pray for yourself as well. God Bless everyone. Jeremiah 33:3 KJV
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