Child Abuse Story From Carmen L

by Carmen L
(North Carolina, USA)

I know my parents divorced when I was just a baby, there after I was dropped from her mother, here there god knows where, I can't really remember too much of the early years well. She had another "man" on the side, he wanted her even when she was with my father, always bothering her. Father was forced out of the service a few days before my birth so I was told, and the other man came with crib, ect. in hand. Awhile after we were with father again, home, safe, for a very brief time I may add..she left father when Iwas around 9 or 10 ms old and dropped me with her people to run off to that other man who promised the moon, she says as back it the late 50;s it was quite unommon to see a white woman with a hispanic man, I don't know. She told so many lies I found out in life too late.

So, she settled with this man, I was born in 59, they married and came and got me from whereever she'd left me in 1964 and he adopted me in 65, promosing her he would treat me no different than there son they had in 62..how untrue that prooved to be. He was in the service so life was grand when he was gone. I always felt like an outsider and learned why. From 1965,he was out to sea, until 1970 when he returned from his third tour of duty in Nam I had an ok life. It went completely to hell after that.

May 1970 she had twins, on my birthday they came home, that made a total of 6 with me.They were my 12th birthday gift, how lucky can a girl get..she went on the sucicidal train and checked out for a few months while I stayed out of 5th grade to care or them until hewould get a house keeper...we would go to his mothers, everyone of his kids could play eat and drink while I had to sit in the living room quitely and wait, I was allowed water of course..

I became a teenager and things worsend, he became an alcoholic!! Great match, he would get drunk and angry so he would beat me with his belt buckle, fist, pool stick what ever was handy while she pretended not to notice. I took it for awhile, at 14 I would fight back with the drunk and cuss him and even throw and tear things up in self defense the way I say it..then they started with the phyciatric bs, the thorazine, just too many things to list..Juvinille detention for the last half of 8th grade and all of 9th grade,such wonderful parents Ihad.

I got out, he made sure to let me know I could never live at there home again, off to foster homes I started going..even that sick insanity did not keep me from her, that is a sickness in itself that we still feel beholden to the one who bore us after all of that.

Fially she forged birth certificates for a boy and I from a home Iwas living in, I was 16, she really wanted me gone bad!! It did'nt work out he too was an abuser..butI was free so I took off on an adventure with the Ringling Brothers Circus a while, then just was here there and anywhere for the next 3and a half yrs. I came to see her, I can stay 1 day,she told me of my father noone was ever alound to speak of and home I went, I loved my father deeply, we had a great repore and father and daughter relationshlp until his death in04. By then I had counted myself out of the game as a loser, a nomad, had a hard time staying put in one spot too long. For years I had my mother on a pedastal when she was asguilty as he was...all of them have a part in it..If they knew what or how it devestates our lives would it still go on I wonder,, or are they so barbarak they have no care of it..I often wonderd if I would have had all the amenities of a real home if I could have had dreams, possibilities, and a college career to pursue although I never was given that oppurtunity, I want other chldren from abuse to be given that..If I had the money I would open a huge home for all the misfortunet one's noone wants out there, I would want them, I would love them.

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