Child Abuse Story From Candace

Child Abuse Story From Candace

by Candace
(Manitoba, Canada)

My dad has always been a great guy, except that once, when I was 14 or so, I think he sexually abused me. I'm not sure. It's hard to tell. On about 3 occasions when I was 14, I remember waking up to him grabbing me or fondling me, but I think it was through the blanket. It was in the morning before school. I woke up to this three consecutive days.

I pretended to be asleep because I knew that my family's survival depended on us sticking together. He hasn't done it since, and I blocked the memory, until now. It feels like a dream, but I remember so many details that it's hard to deny. Me and my dad have a good relationship now, but I can't go anywhere near him. He disgusts me.

It's been two years and I don't know how to handle this. I'm almost 17 and almost suicidal. I don't know whether or not my depression could be caused by this subconscious hate for my dad. I'm lost and in denial. The only reason I'm writing this story is because I keep forgetting it happened. I can't keep denying it, and now I have no excuse.

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Child Abuse Story From Candace

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Feb 11, 2008

It IS sexual abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Fondling DOES constitute sexual abuse, Candace. And while I understand your desire to keep the family intact, that isn't your job. Your job is to go to school, get an education and become a well-rounded, contributing young woman. You can't do that when you're trying to deal with the repercussions of sexual abuse.

Candace, you need to tell someone that this happened to you. It's happened before; it will likely happen again. I urge you to contact Kids Helpline in Canada at 1-800-668-6868. They are staffed with professionally trained counsellors who will help you with your options. You can remain anonymous, if you so choose.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 15, 2008

The truth will set you free
by: Michelle

Candace,
My heart broke as I read your story. I think sometimes when an infraction "seems" minimal, it makes it all the more difficult to cope and to accept it. It creates a lot of self doubt and you question if it is really that bad. As you said, it makes it easier to deny it happened especially since you were asleep to half asleep. I think that is the worst kind of abuse because it doesn't allow you to have the validation you need to realize you were victimized and to receive the help that is so needed. Candace, it really is that bad. It is sexual abuse. Even if your conscious mind doesn't remember, your body has memory and your body remembers and this will effect your behavior. Even if the memories are hidden, they don't just cease to exist and they too will effect your behavior. Suicide is one of the effects of sexual abuse among other things. Please read the effects of sexual abuse also on this sight so that you can fight against becoming a statistic. I wish I had that advantaged, but I was well into my adult years before the memories came back to me. I wished I had told or remembered when I was still a teenager so that I could know what I was fighting and not allow myself to continue to be a victim of abuse even after I left. I did try to commit suicide when I was a teenager and nearly died. I never really understood what was "wrong" with me to cause me to attempt that until the memories of sexual abuse came back and I learned that suicide and attempts are prevalent among sexual abuse victims. Candace, there was nothing wrong with me and there is nothing wrong with you. You are ok, your father isn't. Educate yourself, talk to someone you can trust, a teacher or counselor at school. Honestly, it very well may still be occuring, in your sleep. I too woke up on a couple of occasions to find my father fondling me. I wondered how many times it happened that I didn't wake up. In my case, it escalated. It is not ok for him to do this to you. It is not a minor offense. It is a major violation against your body and your trust. You are worth saving and you don't deserve what has happened to you. Please talk to someone Candace.

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Feb 15, 2008
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Submitted by: Michelle

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Candace, My heart broke as I read your story. I think sometimes when an infraction "seems" minimal, it makes it all the more difficult to cope and to accept it. It creates a lot of self doubt and you question if it is really that bad. As you said, it makes it easier to deny it happened especially since you were asleep to half asleep. I think that is the worst kind of abuse because it doesn't allow you to have the validation you need to realize you were victimized and to receive the help that is so needed. Candace, it really is that bad. It is sexual abuse. Even if your conscious mind doesn't remember, your body has memory and your body remembers and this will effect your behavior. Even if the memories are hidden, they don't just cease to exist and they too will effect your behavior. Suicide is one of the effects of sexual abuse among other things. Please read the effects of sexual abuse also on this sight so that you can fight against becoming a statistic. I wish I had that advantaged, but I was well into my adult years before the memories came back to me. I wished I had told or remembered when I was still a teenager so that I could know what I was fighting and not allow myself to continue to be a victim of abuse even after I left. I did try to commit suicide when I was a teenager and nearly died. I never really understood what was "wrong" with me to cause me to attempt that until the memories of sexual abuse came back and I learned that suicide and attempts are prevalent among sexual abuse victims. Candace, there was nothing wrong with me and there is nothing wrong with you. You are ok, your father isn't. Educate yourself, talk to someone you can trust, a teacher or counselor at school. Honestly, it very well may still be occuring, in your sleep. I too woke up on a couple of occasions to find my father fondling me. I wondered how many times it happened that I didn't wake up. In my case, it escalated. It is not ok for him to do this to you. It is not a minor offense. It is a major violation against your body and your trust. You are worth saving and you don't deserve what has happened to you. Please talk to someone Candace.

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Feb 25, 2008

ok!!
by: Anonymous

This is so sad and its true he did sexually abuse you tell someone right away...tell a conseller!!

LUCK!!!!!!

Mar 06, 2008

dont
by: kathleen

I konw it must be hard for you but DONT give your life for that it always could have been worse. So please give life a chance you never know how good it can be in the future.

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Child Abuse Story From Candace

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Child Abuse Story From Candace