Child Abuse Story From C XX

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Child Abuse Story From C XX

by C XX
(Glasgow, United Kingdom)

It all happened when I was 13/14. My friends and I started hanging around an amusement arcade, skipping school, drinking and being reckless.

The person who owned the arcade was a man in his late 40's. Soon we were in there every day and he became a frequent figure in our life. He began by offering us drink, giving us free tokens for the machine and allowing us to stay there after the arcade had closed.

He soon propositioned my friend, stating if she slept with him, he would give her £50. My friend had not lost her virginity, so he offered her £30 for a blowjob. There was about 5 of us, all in school uniforms, all the same age.

Soon he confronted me for sex, again offering £50 for full sex. I had lost my virginity and followed through with this, as did a couple of the others. What really annoys me is that whoever went with him, the money was then divided between us all.

I remember the pain I felt as he entered me, I only had sex once prior to this (which was far too young).

This went on for about a year or two. Then we moved and I lost touch with him and my so-called friends. A few years later, CID chapped my door asking to speak to me. Apparently one of my friends had told her friend what had happened, and they in turn told their mum, who went to the police. This is why the story came out.

I gave a full statement and had the shame of my parents knowing of the situation, which really hurt them. He then pleaded guilty and was sent down for 7 years.

I know what he did was wrong, but I was wrong for agreeing to it in the first place, and then for accepting money for this. If I had said no...I am sure it would never have happened.

I am now a settled 29-year-old, in a good relationship, but these thoughts still appear. I do believe I too was to blame because I and my friends all played a part in this.

C XX

Note from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

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Child Abuse Story From C XX

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Mar 08, 2009

Part 1: Some strong words...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You said, "I do believe I too was to blame because I and my friends all played a part in this." That's absurd! As a teenager, you could NOT be held responsible for what happened. You were not old enough to consent.

That pervert knew how young people could be coerced and manipulated, especially troubled adolescents. He knew that free-flowing booze, free tokens and the prospect of making money would likely yield him his sick desires.

It seriously concerns me that as a 29-year-old you are now placing responsibility on yourselves as children for the crimes that were committed against you. You weren't complicit; your youth and vulnerabilities were taken advantage of by a sex offender...my god...you are putting adult values on choices you made as a child; choices that you can't be held accountable for. There is a reason children are considered minors and that they need their parents to keep them safe from harm.

The reason I'm so adamant about this and why I'm so concerned for the convoluted way you are thinking of this is because if and when you have your own children, it is imperative that you understand they cannot be held responsible for actions such as these. Your parents were responsible for you; and they didn't do their job at protecting you. Besides, I can't help ask myself what was it that happened in your own childhood that would put you in a position of making such unhealthy choices as a 13-year-old in the first place. With all due respect, children who are raised with love and respect and dignity and are kept safe from harm do not usually turn into 13- or 14-year-olds who turn to booze, gaming and/or sex for money. And as hurt as your parents were in finding out what happened, it should have been disappointment in their own failings as parents, not failings in you as a child. I cannot be strong enough in my words about this. Your choices were unhealthy; but as a 13-year-old child you were NOT to blame. Your brain wasn't done developing at that age, and it didn't finish developing until about 4 years ago. So please, I beg you to rethink your position on this.

See Part 2: Pointing you to two URLs on this site... below.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 08, 2009

Part 2: Pointing you to two URLs on this site...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I urge you to check out at least these two of the many sexual abuse type pages on this site:

I am SO glad one of the girls actually told someone, which eventually got to the proper authorities. This pervert's actions were criminal; he deserved every year he got, and then some.

I do thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. Your story provides an opportunity to reiterate how important it is for adults (and children) to understand that when children are offended against, it isn't their fault. EVER.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 11, 2009

Response to Darlene:
by: C xx

Darlene, I thank you for your response, however
I was raised with all the love in this world, I was giving up for adoption at birth and gave to a wonderful mother and father. Unfortunately when puberty started, I became a monster, I done everything to try and get my parents to reject me, but they never did. I drank, smoked, took recreational drugs... you name it, I done it.

People reading this, may think how selfish I was, but to a young adolescent dealing with the rejection of her natural mother, I was just trying to get my mum and dad to do the same.

Due to my reckless behaviour at this time, this is how I began hanging around the amusement arcade with my friends. My mother drove me to school and picked me up, but I went in the gates but never attended school.

I do agree with your comments, in that he was a sexual predator, who had found himself some vulnerable young females, but my mother or father could not have protected me from this, in any way. They done the very best for me in every way, they even tried taking me for private counselling, but I told him to ***K off!

Only someone who wants help, is willing to accept it and only those who want to change will! I graduated from university and managed to get my education back, however I will never get back that part of my childhood.... x

Mar 11, 2009

C XX:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Congratulations on moving forward with your life and graduating from university. You have a great deal to be proud of.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Child Abuse Story From C XX

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Child Abuse Story From C XX