Child Abuse Story From Bubbles
by Bubbles
Before I begin, I have to say to every abused girl or boy adult or child, find your silver lining and cling on to it. My story is rather tame compared to the horror alot of you have gone through. My Mother and Father divorced when I was three and we moved from the state I was born in. im not exactly sure when the emotional abuse started due to the fact i dont rember much from eleven and younger. My mother suffered anorexia and depression and I was far from the skinny perfect child. I was moe the chunky kid who looked like her father. But that didnt really affect me till I was older. the part that rwaly wiped out my memory was of the SCUM she married when I was in third grade. A coke addict with a temper. I had two little brothers by the time, and I alwys felt like I needed to be the adult. Now, I need to give my mother credit, its hard raising three children on your own, and being to proud to ecept help from family members. but to this day i always think my mother should have never had children and just eloped her whole life. Anyway SCUM came into our lifes and our world fell apart. Hed beat my mother, and the three of us. By the end of third grade we had moved back to the state I was born and i was excited. My father adn his family lived there. but that was when the real horror started. Now my mother use to belittle me but never smacked my face. That changed. I was not aloud to eat anythin but breakfest lunch and dinner and it was what he wanted. I use to sneak down to get a snack when thwy went to bed. I was forrbiden to see my father and his family. now yes i was knocked around, but this SCUM broke my brothers nose and beat them so bad that my mother couldnt send them to school. And all the while she was to busy taking uppers in the morniing adn downers at night to do anything about it. In fifth grade a boy in my class started touching me. it felt so good to have physical attention that didn't hurt I welcomed it. But inside I felt so dirty and disgusted with myself. Luckly though my mother woke up and smelled the coffee and left the SCUM, but her emotional abuse kept up with me. She did marry agin, but he was the best guy I could have asked for in her life. Even though she continued to mentally abuse me. When I fourteen I descided to become anorec hoping she would notice me but I couldn't even make it a day and then I wqas so disgusted with myself. When I was fourteen I started using drugs and when I was sixteen I started cutting myself. It felt so good. I was molseted by a friends boyfriend when I was 19 and she didnt belive me accusing me of asking for it. I belived it. When i was 20 I tried to kill myself by taking sleeping pills witch didnt work. At 22 I was a coke addict who was willing to sleep with anyone for soem sort of physical love. Though I can honestly say I didnt sleep with a ton of men diffrent men, Ive had way more touch me and I touch them. I was sleeping with my roomates boyfriend a friends father anything for love. And then when i was twenty four I woke up and smelled the coffee. it took me two years to stop using drugs and still to this day I have urges to do them or get a knife and slice my wrist or jump in a car with a man. But I Realize Im letting them win. Ive always know I was not my mothers favorie, but looking back on what I do remember I had two sets of wonderful granparents who made me who I am. I LOVE ME and I AM POWERFUL AGAINST ANYONE. Ive found faith in god and he is my rock. Ive learned to love my self and my mother and I have become close. She feels awful for what shes done and I refuse to dwell on the past when I have so much to look forward to. AND I DID IT ALL MYSELF. I never went to rehab or therepy though I do think I need some. Thank you for listing to my story. As I stated Ive only went through a tenth of what most of you have. But when that silver lining, that sliver of hope appears befor you, grab on to it. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING NO MATTER WHAT!  Note from Darlene: I welcome you to follow me on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I hope to hear from you there!Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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