Child Abuse Story From Brian

by Brian H
(Southgate, Michigan)

When I was only an infant, my older brother dropped me on the edge of a coffee table. When was only 3 years old, he took a car cigarette lighter and pressed it to my leg. My parents didn't really do anything about that.

When I was 4, up to the time I turned, 8 he sexually molested me. He told me if I ever told my parents, he would kill me. He snuck in my room one night and covered my mouth with his hand and put a knife to my throat and said I never liked you I wish mom and dad never had you. The next day, I told my parents. They said I was making this up.

When I was 4 years old, my brother dug a hole in the neighbor's backyard and he pushed me in it and started to throw dirt on top of me. When I started screaming for help, he pulled me out of the hole. I tried telling my parents what he did, but he just said I fell in a hole and he saved me.

When I was 5, he made me stand on a chair as he tied a rope around my neck and tightened it. Then he started kicking the chair so that when I would fall my neck would break. Things got worse as I got older.

When I was riding my scooter around his house, he pulled out a spear as I was coming towards him so I would run into it. My dad saw this and just turned his head.

My dad used to teach me and my brother how to shoot a gun. He told us if we ever pointed it at anyone we would never shoot again. One day, my brother pulled out a shotgun and put it to my chest. I told him it wasn’t loaded. He said, "You're right" and loaded the gun with 4 shells and put his finger on the trigger. My dad saw this and he just yelled at my brother.

When I was in the sixth grade, I hid my dad's gun on him and I never shot a gun for a long time after that. I guess he meant it was ok for my brother to point a gun at me, but if I hid a gun, I wouldn’t shoot after that.

My brother use to make notes to beat me up all the time. One day, my brother pulled out a pair scissors and tried to cut off my privates. I could never figure out why he was this way to me. He always told me he hated me and how much he wished I was never born.

One day, me and my brother were watching a movie in his room when he pulled out these metal darts and started throwing them into my leg. I always tried to tell my parents about these things, but they always thought I was making it up.

I wasn’t just abused by my brother. I was abused by my father emotionally. He would always go so far to prove how stupid I was. He used to help me with my homework and he would yell at me the whole time. One year for Christmas, I got a toy helicopter and a tool bench. I took a screw driver and chipped a small piece of wood off the floor. He saw that and grabbed my helicopter and jumped on it so hard to where the batteries were bent.

I used to have really bad acne, and my dad always told me how my face looked like the moon or a golf ball. I used to be fat, and my brother would walk by me and grabbed my stomach. My parents would just sit there and laugh. I finally told my mom about my brother molesting me. She called me a liar. My dad was so convinced that my brother was a perfect child, he did everything with him. I was never invited to join them at all. I told my dad I wanted to join the marines. He kept telling me that I would never make it. He always made it seem like I was never good enough and could never do anything right. I was never as good as my brother.

I had to live with my brother hurting me for a long time. I never told anyone what he did because I was always afraid of them saying I was lying. To this day, my brother still puts me down and so does my dad. A year ago, my brother had a kid, and now I worry if he is doing the same stuff to him as he did to me. I told my brother that, and he said he did that because he never liked me.

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