Child Abuse Story From Beverly

by Beverly
(Chesapeake, Virginia, USA)

I am from a large family of 8. I'm the youngest. I've been told by my older siblings I didn't know what abuse was. They had been so badly abused before I was born that my dad must have chilled out.

I had broken my leg and there must have been 3 different stories to how it happened. I couldn't remember because I was only 2 years old.

Now that I'm an adult looking back, the beatings we got during our childhood were probably not as bad as the verbal abuse. My God, why would a grown man call his children losers or whores on a daily bases? (I didn't even know what these words meant) I guess this may explain why I never feel successfully even though I have been number 1 in sales in my company.

My mom died when I was 18. By then I was already married and had a one-year-old daughter. I will never forget when I was 10. I was helping my mom make her bed. She stopped and just looked at me. Then she said, "You are ugly." That really crushed me. I was by far not ugly, but from then on I believed her. I still do. I'm not sure if it was the words she said to me or that she never said sorry.

When I was 9 my mom got sick with cancer. It was never explained to us what this deadly decease was. It wasn't until way after she died that I understood.

I guess I was seven or eight years old when my dad stopped drinking.

I do feel I was mentally and physically abused, but it's what I saw and heard more so than what actually happened to me. Like my sisters were being sexually abused by my dad. I knew something was going on, I just did not know what it was.

I have so much anger in me when things are not going my way, i.e. when my sales are down or my checking account is getting low or when my boyfriend breathes the wrong way.

I'm writing this because, I need to. Thank you for listening!

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