Child Abuse Story From Becca-Taylor

by Becca-Taylor
(Virginia, USA)

I just told my best friend my story, and now it's all coming back to me. I've had butterflies in my stomach ever since I told her, because I can't stop thinking about it.

I was sexually abused by my clarinet tutor. The first four or five lessons I actually enjoyed. He was really funny, and sometimes I had to stop playing for like five minutes to laugh. But after a while, things got uncomfortable. Whenever I was off beat or started speeding up playing my clarinet, he would tap the beat on my thigh. I told him that I got it, but he would keep tapping. His hand slowly moved up my thigh. I was too appalled to stop him at first. I just kept playing, trying to ignore him.

Then, another time, he said I was breathing wrong. He showed my where the air needed to come from by putting one hand on my stomach and the other on my back. That time, I told him to stop it, and he said not until you breathe right. His hands moved up to my boobs, and he started touching them through my shirt. I pushed him away. He continued this for two years.

One day, when we were about to go back to the practice room (he has his students wait in the living room, then when it's their turn they go back), and he asked me if he wanted to have our lesson in the bedroom. I said no, and he just laughed and he went into the practice room, thank goodness. That's when I started telling my mother that he was weird and made me uncomfortable. I told her nothing else. Being at least 60 years old, she said, he's gotta be a little weird, but she agreed to let me quit after Christmas. I had three more lessons before then, and he didn't know I was quitting. But it got more intense then. He tried to put his hand in my pants, but lucky for me, they were my skinny jeans, so he couldn't do much. But he still felt me around that area. He kept asking me if I wanted to have a lesson in the bedroom, and that he wanted to show me something, but each time I said no. He almost pushed me back, but my mother came back at the same time, to give him a check for the lessons. She still doesn't know what happened.

I quit lessons, and six months later, I told me best friend about it. While I was taking lessons, I had dreams about my teacher molesting me, but what happened in the dreams was worse than what happened at the lesson. I've been raped in my dreams. I feel horrible not wanting to tell anyone, but if I do, I'll have to go to court and face him. He mostly has guy students, but there was one girl who I knew. Of course, I don't know for sure, but she wasn't exactly attractive, and I don't know if he bothered her. I no if I tell, it will stop him completely, but I just can't. My family would never look at me the same way again, though it would explain a lot, like my conservativeness. I can't tell.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Becca-Taylor" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.