Child Abuse Story From Ashley
by Ashley
(USA)
I almost hate posting here after reading some of these heartbreaking stories. My childhood experiences are not quite the same but they are traumatic and have caused tremendous negativity in my life and with my parents just the same. I feel my low self-esteem is attributed to my memories of shame. I also have other issues because of the abuse that I am trying to overcome.
I lived a pretty normal life in most ways...I lived in a nice house, I ate three meals a day, we had a dog. I had toys. Not that bad compared to other people's situations, I suppose. But my parents confused me and hurt me so bad and I don't know if they even realize it. I was spanked as I child and I am still so disturbed by it. I got spankings as far back as I can remember. When I was really young, I remember getting my diaper (or pull up, whatever) pulled to the side to get my smack. I vividly remember the first time I was ever really spanked. I was preschool age and was dressed for church (I think, or else someplace where you had to dress nice) my mom had told me about 4 times to not jump in the leaf piles, we were about to leave. I did, and the next thing I knew my dad was marching outside. He took my hand, led me into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He began to unbutton my pants and I was so terrified. My mother stood behind me, watching. He pulled down my pants and underwear together and I just stood there, sobbing. He didn't turn me over his knee or anything, just slapped me on the bare butt about 5 times while I stood up. My mother came from behind me and hugged me. My pants were still down as she told me why daddy had to spank me and that they loved me so much and it was their job to keep me safe and to help me learn to listen. She pulled up my pants and buttoned them, then told me to get into the car and to stop crying. I got spanked standing up like that many times in my younger years, and thinking back on it now, it makes me sick. It's like he wanted to expose me, not even have my genitals covered. My dad was such a great guy in so many ways but I swear and I know it's sickening to think about, I think he knew that getting my pants pulled down was so terrible and embarrassing for me, and he was glad. As I got a little older, he started putting me over his knee for spankings instead of standing up, but he still unbuttoned my pants. He would pull them down before he put me over his knee, then position me. As he was pulling down my underwear, he would tell me how much he loved me and how much he hated to spank me. By the time he started to actually slap my butt, I would be close to a heart attack, the worse feeling of helplessness you could ever imagine. This might sound really stupid, and I know it does, but one of the worst parts of the spankings (besides the part where dad or mom began to take down my underwear) was that they were never very hard, more of light slaps instead of hard smacking. In other words, no, they weren't pleasant, it did sting, but it wasn't incredibly painful. This gives me the sick sensation that the punishment was more of meant to embarrass me rather than hurt me. I can't believe my parents did that to me. Because of them I get a sick sensation when I see or hear a child get a spanking. It's disgusting. The absolute worst spanking I ever got was the one and only time I ever got a spanking in front of another person besides my mom or sister, and it was the single most traumatic event in my 28 year old life. My uncle was visiting from about 2 hours away, and it became late and my parents invited him to sleep over so he wouldn't have to drive. I was 10, and pushed my 6 year old sister down when she tried to sit next to my uncle on the couch right before we went to bed. She got mad and hit me, and I pinched her really hard. My father stood up and grabbed my arm. I knew what was going to happen and I was almost in shock. i don't know what I expected him to do, but when he didn't make a move to relocate to privacy I panicked. I ran to my room and locked the door, and my dad came and told me that if I didn't unlock it he would get in anyway and it would be worse. I begged him not to spank me, and he calmly said that yes, he was going to spank me. Crying, I begged and pleaded for him not to pull my pants down. He said he was going to. I was a wreck, about to pee myself and feeling so ashamed. I felt a familiar panicked throb in my genitals. I was so scared I refused to open the door, and my dad went and got a screwdriver to take the doorknob off. The whole time I heard the buzz, I knew what was about to happen. I was crying so hard. My father came into my room and literally dragged me to living room. He smacked my hands away from the buttons on my jeans and yanked them down, along with my underwear. He began to spank me the old way of standing up, at least 5 times before he put me over his knee. My uncle was watching the whole thing. I stood there, with my hands covering my vulva, getting smacked on the butt. After he was done spanking me over his knee, he made me apologize to my uncle with my pants still pulled down. I hate even thinking about this. I got so many of these terrible punishments.
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