Child Abuse Story From Ashley B

by Ashley B
(Florida, USA)

I'm 13 years old and had a very hurtful life. My mom is an angry abusive drunk and my dad is a heroine addict. I have lived with many different people and in different places. I've thought about killing myself, but never had the guts to.

First, I lived with my mom. She blamed me for everything, especially when guys left her. She would say, "I hope you're happy. There goes another one." While we were in public, she would ask random cashiers if they wanted me and my brother. She would say, "They're free. She is a little brat, but this one, he will clean for you."

During all 6th-grade, I lived with lice. My friend Leslie and her mom picked all of the lice eggs out of my hair, god bless them. Leslie's mom was always there for me.

Things started to get bad when my mom met Jim. He hated me. He used to hold me up to the wall and kick the crap out of me. He molested me. I told my mom, but she didn't believe me. About a year later, he told her it was him or me. I was in 5th grade, and I couldn't handle this. We moved back to our house and she became a HEAVY drinker. She beat the crap out of me for everything. One night, she beat me so bad that I couldn't go to school the next day. She hit me in the stomach so no one could see it. I told my best friends some of it, but never the whole truth. My mom use to throw the computer at me. And beer bottles.

I was too skinny. All I ever had in my house was beer, which was about four 24-packs. My mom drank all of it, and had to get more every night. My mom worked every day, so she thought she wasn't a drunk. But I knew something wasn't right. Rumors started in my neighborhood that my mom was selling and doing drugs, and that she was a prostitute. The rumors weren't totally false. But I told everyone they were. We had cops at our house every night.

Then, this man Buddy moved in with us, to be our "babysitter," but he didn't watch us. He never watched anything but the tv.

My mom soon had different guys over every night. None of my friends' parents would let their kids over to my house. Sometimes, after my mom passed out, her "friends" would come in my room. Most of the time, they were just feeling me. But one time, this guy got all the way in. He stole my virginity. It hurt so bad. I don't even know who he was. I was in 6th grade...I hadn't even gotten my period yet.

That summer, my mom had gotten really mad because I asked to sleep over at my friend's house. My mom went crazy. She was throwing chairs at me while my friend was still there. She was cursing and throwing her pot box and plates at me. I was bleeding, and I got mad. I called her a drunk and told her she needed help. That was one of the dumbest things I ever did. My mom got down on top of me and started yelling at me and she put her hand round my neck and was choking me and I couldn't breathe and I really thought I was gonna die. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see it all over again. My brother was the one who pulled her off me. I was crying hysterically. She angrily asked me if I wanted to go to foster care. I told her, as long as they wouldn't hit me. She got on the phone and told the people she was talking to that my daughter is crazy and needs to be institutionalized. I was yelling in the background, "No, she's hitting me and she's a drunk and she does drugs."

That night, I got taken away. They lifted up my shirt and found all of the bruise marks. I also had finger marks on my neck from her choking me.

I moved in with my grandma and grandpa. I started hanging out with the people who did drugs and drove cars. I was a confused 12-year-old girl having sex with 22-year-olds. I stole from a whole bunch of places and got a lot of money. I smoked pot and drank all the time. My grandma drug-tested me. When she got the results, she sent me to foster care.

I was a weird little girl who could have been pregnant. I did make one friend, Rachel, who helped me get through everything. She wasn't my best friend, but my only one at the school I was in. People were only nice to me because they felt bad for me, because I went to school with black eyes from my mom when I got to visit her.

By the end of 7th grade, my daddy was ready to take care of me and my brother. I was so excited. I was finally going to have a dad. He bought me a phone and treated me like a princess. Then, about a month later, he was in the bathroom for a long time. I thought he ha eaten a bad hotdog and was sick. But it turned out that he was using heroine again. My dad has never been there for me. I should have known he wasn't gonna start being there for me.

Then I moved back to Florida. My grandma took me back. I started middle school once summer was over. I made the cheerleading squad. I was so excited. But I turned into a slut and did anything with anyone. Then halfway through the year, this girl started talking about my mom. I fought her and she ended in the hospital for 2 weeks. I got arrested and probation until I'm 19.

I changed schools, and now I'm trying not to be such a slut. I've made lots of friends. I like it there. I would not be who I am today if none of these things happened to me. I don't think anyone should have to go through this, but I know people go through even worse things.

Thanks for letting me share my story with you.
Ashley B

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