Child Abuse Story From Asha

by Asha
(West Midlands, England)

From 1994 to 2000: 
I was born in a Muslim family and before me I already had 3 sisters. I was not wanted because my parents had wanted a son after 3 girls. Right from a young age I was picked on and hit. My other siblings also got in trouble but I seemed to take most of my parents' wrath. After me my parents went on to have a son, two daughters and another son. My father was well known and respected by all who knew him. I also looked up to him even though he never cared much if I existed or not. But one day he started caring, but for the wrong reason.

It was summer of 1994 and my mum had gone to Pakistan with our two younger sisters and she had left me, my sister and my brother in the care of my dad. He started by touching me and stroking me in all the wrong places. I knew it was wrong but I made my mind go numb and let him do as he pleased. After my mum came back from abroad, I couldn't tell her so he continued sexually abusing me every chance he got. Then at the age of 14 he beat me up in front of my other siblings and my mum, making up an excuse that I was getting out of hand but I knew it was because he had wanted to take me the whole way and I had refused on that day and locked myself in the bathroom until my mum got back from outside with my other siblings whom she always seem to take with her but leave me alone with him.

The next day my mind was all over the place. I couldn't concentrate and so in science class I told a male teacher Mr B about the abuse. Why I chose to tell a male teacher I will never know, but he took me to our head of year. Everything came out and a social worker was called. I told her everything and then I was asked if I wanted the police involved which scared me and so I said no. I had started behaving strangely at home, as I didn't know what the outcome would be, and so one evening just before the social worker came to the house to ask my parents about all I had said, my mum got my sister to ask me if everything was fine. I felt really touched and so told my sister about what our dad had been doing to me. Of course it never happened to her or any of my other sisters so she did not believe me. She told my mum and I was sworn at and called all sorts of names.

Then the day came when we came back from school and found the social worker I had spoken to with a Muslim social worker, as I had told her my parents did not understand English. As soon as my dad saw me he denied everything, but after a lot of talk the social worker told him he'd have to live somewhere else until they could get to the bottom of it all. He wasn't allowed contact with me, my siblings or my mother. As soon as the social workers left, my dad and my mum screamed at me saying that she wished I had never been born. I'd never much mixed with my siblings cause I'd always preferred being on my own, but when they all ganged up on me it really hurt.

Then after a while my dad came back, but he didn't touch me although he did cry to make the others feel sorry for him. Then they all started putting pressure on me to tell the social workers that I had lied, which is what I did in the end to get them off my back.

We then moved to another city but the records were sent over and we had one last visit from another social worker to make sure that I was doing the right thing and they told my dad that if in the future anyone reported him as sexually abusing them then he would face a jail sentence. After all this, I was naive to think it had all ended but the abuse started again, and on top of it the everyday bullying of my other siblings. I couldn't even turn to my own mother as she refused to believe me, so I let it go on until I got married at the age of seventeen and then I went on to have 4 children.

I confided in my husband everything that I had been through and for the first time someone took my side and he let my mum know that he knew everything and if ever my dad was to come near me again he'd have to answer to my husband, and later on I was also to find out that I wasn't the only person he had done all this to. People are very surprised when they find out how lightly my dad was let off, but I believe that one day the time will come when he will have to face all this and pay for his sins.

As for me, I suffered a lot but came out at the top and showed men like my dad that no matter what, they can never crush you or hurt you as deep as they think they can.

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