Child Abuse Story From Arian P

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Child Abuse Story From Arian P

by Arian P
(Nebraska, USA)

When I was about 8 months old my mom and dad had gotten a divorce and he moved out leaving me with my mom. I just remember growing up guy after guy coming in and out of my home. I didn't know it then but now I realize how many guys my mom was having sex with since my dad had been gone. Three years later my mom got with I--- & he has been my step dad ever since. In my eyes he was my dad because my real dad was never around. My mom worked a lot so he was there alone with me a lot of the times. He would give my baths & watch me play in the water. I just remember him looking at me like I was a super model with no clothes on, 6 years old no body figure, yet he had such interest. As I got older it just got worse, twelve years old I started to get a figure & lost all of my baby fat that's when he really started being nice to me. He would make me wear these skimpy out fits or sometimes nothing at all. He would take picture of me on his cell phone & jack off to my body I as I stood there & cryed. He would make my give him hand jobs and blow jobs all of the time. But eventually I guess he got bored of that & snuck into my room while I was sleeping, I woke up to him rubbing my breasts, and told me it was okay. He started rubbing my in the wrong places so I moved away but that just made him angry. He got on top of me and stuck it in me.... like he wanted to rip me in half... he took my virginity that night. At 12 years old I no longer had my innocence. I told on him to my counselor at school and she called CPS but my mom didn't believe me. She was told he had to move out & there was not allowed any contact, but she would invite him over and he was there anyway...

I don't remember a lot of what happened, i pushed it back so far in my brain.
One thing I will never forget is him making me give him a blow job & me crying asking him to stop, my mom walked into the room saw what was going on, I thought finally... finally she will believe me. She yelled at him and pushed him out side. I could hear them yelling at each other, him crying saying I was coming on to him, that it wasn't his fault. She came inside... and called me a sl*t and told me I was trying to ruin what she had. My own mother, chose a sick twisted man over her daughter.
I am now 16 with a 1 year old daughter. And I thank God for her everyday. I can't understand how my mom believed him. If my daughter were to tell me something like that happened to her I'd kill him. No question about it.
Some people don't deserve to be parents. I am now in a foster home with great parents. All of this has traumatized me but has made me a strong person & the mother I need to be for my baby girl.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Child Abuse Story From Arian P

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Oct 11, 2011

Arian:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your mother was—IS—seriously troubled and twisted in her thinking. She not only chose her relationship with a pedophile over her daughter, she put the blame where blame never belongs. You know you're not to blame, I know you're not to blame, my visitors know you're not to blame. Your mother's disturbing position on this cost her a relationship with you and possibly a relationship with her granddaughter. I'm so happy to learn that you are now in a healthy happy foster home, one that will provide the support you need for yourself and your child. Lean on all the support that is available to you, Arian. You and your child deserve that. And whenever you need to speak to someone, about what you endured, about the betrayal and abandonment of your mother, about being a teen mom, about anything, then reach out to people who will listen to you. If counselling is available to you, engage in the process. You didn't deserve to be sexually abused by a pedophile or ignored and betrayed by your mother. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you were. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Oct 11, 2011

one other person/agency to hold responsible
by: My Two Cents

I can't really add to what Darlene has written to you so I will only repeat what Darlene has written - you are NOT to blame for this. None of it.

I would also add one point to what Darlene wrote - there is one more person or agency that should be accountable to you. That's the child welfare people who investigated, found the report was true and then did not follow up with you and your family to make sure you were safe.

I suspect most people don't realize this. Child welfare staff are supposed to follow up in cases where a child has been abused and ensure that he or she is safe. In your case, from what you wrote, that did not happen.

This is one of those things that really, really pushes my buttons. People in child welfare applied for their jobs. They kept (I assume) those jobs. The implication is that they're actually going to do the job.

If they can't, for whatever reason, more urgent cases of child abuse, lack of resources (money, foster homes, trained staff, vehicles to travel to the home), whatever, my question is always, why don't they quit? I mean, if they can't do the job...? Why don't they say to their employers (the state), we can't do an ethical job because we don't have x, y, or z.....?

I'd like to suggest that you look into getting a lawyer and suing them for criminal neglect or failure to protect you, whatever. I'm hoping if enough people sue and shine a spotlight on the system's failures, the government will fix it. Who knows? Maybe things will improve?

Oct 12, 2011

The Horror
by: Anonymous

Arian, I can't believe that your mom would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick pervert of a stepdad and allow him to offend you 24/7...how dare she! Shame on her for running away from you all the time instead of protecting you from that brute! I'm really disgusted by her reactions toward you getting offended; I hate women who choose men over their own children because children should always come first. Plus, a mother who would choose such a sick pervert over her own precious daughter is the kind of mother who doesn't deserve to have said daughter in her life. You are not to blame for their disgusting behavior; they are to blame because they chose to offend you. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you. Oh, and I'm glad that your foster parents are with you now because they are so sweet for doing that; I just hope that you try counselling.

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Child Abuse Story From Arian P

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Child Abuse Story From Arian P