Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

by Anonymous
(Calgary, Alberta, Canada)

Why me? Why did god have to do this to me? Was I his playing doll? Am I getting punished? What did I do wrong to deserve this? These questions run through my head every minute of every day of every week.

I'm 14 years old. I live a pretty much normal teenage life ,EXCEPT for one thing. I get a type of punishment at home that's more painful than being grounded. It's called Physical Abuse, or Corporal Punishment.

I live in a world of fear, but not hate. I know my parents are doing the wrong thing, but I don't hate them for it. I just...don't want them to continue doing it. I have a 10-year-old sister, and we are soooo tight! It's really painful for me to see her go through the same stuff I go through. Of course, she doesn't get it as much because she isn't in Junior High yet, and she doesn't have all those tests and marks yet. But it's coming within a year.

It hurts me so much for her to witness the beatings, and sometimes she gets beaten too. I still remember when I was 10 and she was 7. She got in trouble for something, and my dad got the shoe horn out and started whacking her with it. I stood in front of her and yelled at my dad to stop. He started to pick on me and said if I ever yelled at him again, I would die.

My sister got bruises from her legs to her arms. I got a bruise on my left eye, numerous bruises on my legs and arms from his various furious whacks. But I didn't care, I was just glad my sister was okay. That's all that ever mattered to me. My sister was the closest thing in my life. I WOULD die for her, literally.

You must be wondering what I do at school. Well, this may sound crazy, but I searched up Physical Abuse on Google and found a site that listed symptoms and signs to look for when someone gets abused. I found them, and did the opposite. Instead of being withdrawn from friends or always looking sad, I became the class clown and slopped on a smile every second. I laughed at everything and did the usual teenager stuff.

Whenever I had a night where I was beaten so badly or had bruises all over me (I called them the "Rough Nites"), I would wear long-sleeved shirts and jeans to cover them up. When someone grabbed me by the shoulder or gave me a pat on my back, I would ALWAYS flinch with pain.

I always lived my life with fear, fear of having someone find out what was going on at home. Fear of having the "Rough Nites." Fear of me and my sister beaten to death. It seemed that no matter what I did, 'Someone' would get hurt from it. If I told and said something to someone about the abuse, my parents would get hurt. But if I kept it in then me and my sister would keep getting the same treatment. It's a hole that I can't get out of no matter how much digging I do.

My life is in confusion, danger, stress, and pressure. My parents expect me to be perfect. I try, but I'm not. It's hard to live up to expectations that I know I can't reach. It's hard to live in a life where you go home not knowing if you'll be at school the next day. It's hard when you go to school having to mask everything up. It's hard when you have so much pressure on your back and no one can help you.

It's hard.

Life is tough. But why did it have to be so tough on me?

My point is: If you are reading this, and you are feeling sorry for me . . . well, I don't know why you feel sorry for me. I live each of my days to the fullest and keep the smile on my face. I try to forget about the past and just be myself. That's hard when you have true horrors in your past that can't be forgotten. But I try, and that's all that matters.

"Pain and Tears will rub away sooner or later; But Emotions and Feelings will leave footsteps."

I'd like to thank my friends for the support and love they give me; without them I wouldn't be here.

I'd also like to thank my sister, my AMAZING, WONDERFUL, AWESOME sister. If she wasn't born, I wouldn't live at all. She's my lifeline and I love her more than everything in the world combined.

Thanks everyone!
<3 I love you all <3

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

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Nov 29, 2007

Signs AREN'T always present . . .
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

The signs and symptoms of physical abuse are considered typical, but they aren't always present, such as in your case. It is not uncommon for the abused and battered child to appear perfectly normal, without a care in the world. Indeed, the child or youth may appear well-adjusted and even happy; that's because every child copes differently. Sooner or later though, the emotional residue of the abuse will manifest itself.

But right now you DO have the physical signs of abuse. Bruises, marks and black eyes ARE danger signs. You are not dealing with corporal punishment; you are being beaten and battered. If you don't get yourself some help, those bruises and marks and black eyes could easily turn into broken bones, concussions and much more serious injuries. If your sister doesn't get some help, she'll be enduring the same.

You said, "If I told and said something to someone about the abuse, my parents would get hurt. But if I kept it in then me and my sister would keep getting the same treatment."

I strongly urge you to tell. Telling doesn't mean that your parents will get "hurt." Telling could mean that your parents would get "help."

You've taken one big step by asking me to post your story. Take the next step: Reach out to someone who can really help you. Contact Kids Helpline in Canada at 1-800-668-6868 for some support from a counsellor. Check out their website at www.kidshelpphone.ca Both you and your sister are worth so much more than what you are dealing with.

Nov 29, 2007

Oh, Do Tell
by: Francine

I feel you, honey. You might want to tell someone. You and your sister might also want to try some counselling.

Dec 03, 2007

What do you mean its not Corporal Punishment?
by: Anonymous

um.
I read your story, its very touching.
You are such a wonderful person and I'd love to be your sister! You care so much about her, and I think you just that amazing.
I just have a question for the person who left the other comment.
What do you mean its not corporal punishment?
Yes it is, shes getting abused/hit for something she is doing wrong. Its a punishment.
i really think it is.
I'm soo srry you have to go through this, i wish god had dealt you a better hand of life. but for now, do your best and live life to the fullest.

AND PPPLLLLEAASEE tell someone, you deserve better hun.
<33333

Dec 03, 2007

To Anonymous who commented below:
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

The way things work on this site is when someone sends me a child abuse story and I approve it as a post on my site, I comment on it as a violence and abuse prevention educator. I always comment first, so it's always a good idea to read through what I've written before writing your comments.

I think you'd benefit from reading some of the information pages here on my site, Anonymous who wrote under the title "What do you mean its not Corporal Punishment?" Corporal punishment is spanking; it is NOT beatings and batterings. My comments were meant to stress to the person who wrote this story that she wasn't putting enough emphasis on the troubling physical abuse she was dealing with. I hope this clears up the issue for you.

Dec 04, 2007

Hi! Its me, the author of the story.
by: Anonymous

Hi everyone.
its me, the author of this abuse story.
Thank you for all of your comments, they mean alot to me.
I read the one from Darcy about the corporal punishment and the other one from annonymous.
I do also get spankings...does that mean i'm getting corporal punishment and abuse.

Darcy, is there another way to keep in contact with you?

I still don't have the courage or guts to tell someone, i feel like everything in my life is my fault. I know its not right to blame it on myself, but I just can't dump the shame and guilt.

My parents are REALLLY REEAAALLLY strict about education. They think education is more important than anything in the world, including friends. I know its crazy but thats how they roll, and i just roll along with it. I have plenty of friends at school tho, but the education part is REALLY not going well. They expect 90s for every subject, test, assignments, and projects. NO EXCEPTIONS! even if I get 88 or 89, they say, its only one off, but its not good enough. and i get the painful punishment that same day. I'm not exaclty one of thoese SUPER SMART kids, kids who don't study and still get 95. I'm not, I need to work sooooooooooooooo hard just to get a 90. They don't understand anything I'm going through and it hurts. It hurts inside and outside. I'm also a person who gets distracted REALLY easily and can make friends with almost everyone. So its really hard for me to get the marks that i need to survive. My parents don't understand me, they think i'm stupid and bad. I got my fist DT this week and well....here it goes again. It hurts when I see kids with a 70 percent on a unit test and they are sooo happy, and the teachers are like thats excellent for a unit test. I get a 70, well don't expect me to be at school tomorrow. I have SO MUCH PRESSURE on my shoulders, and i just can't take it anymore. I just wanna quit.

I've thought about suicide ONCE, that was in grade 5 when i got the worst beating ever, i was left winded and couldn't move. I'm not thinking bout suicide anymore, but running away is my next option.
I just can't deal with the pressure. I have to look after my sister, my marks and my entire life. I can't take it. These past weeks have been so bad for me, i mean after I told the whole grade 9 about what was happening to me at home during CHALLENGE DAY! I haven't been able to concentrate, I doze on, I stare out the window thinking about EVERYTHING. I used to be the GOOOD kid, this month i've failed 4 tests (i'm in so much S@#$, haven't told yet, don't want to), got 2 DTS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What is wrong with my life...EVERYTHING.

Dec 04, 2007

You need help . . .
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

I wrote this before, I'll write it again: Contact Kids Helpline in Canada at 1-800-668-6868 for some support from a counsellor. Check out their website at www.kidshelpphone.ca They are in a far better position to help you.

Dec 07, 2007

your story touched me
by: Anonymous

I am not an emotional person, I'm actually very anti-social, so the fact that your story touched my heart is the most amazing thing I've experienced in a long time.
I go through emotional abuse from my mother (one of the things she said to me was "I don't know why you bother having friends" and I wanted to tell her "It's because we all need someone we can relie on". That same night I went to the bowling alley with some of my friends and sisters. I tried to kill myself. They wouldn't let me though, they just hugged me and my sisters cried,one was 9 and the other was 11. I was 15.)
I am 17 now and my mother is beginning to abuse my stepfather because he refuses to fight back. She did make him mad enough that he pushed her into a wall infront of my sisters. My mom is always throwing things at him and she throw a glass jar at him that almost hit my littlest sister in in the head. I was pissed off for days after that, and I still am even though that happened during the summer.
The week before school started they had an arguement that had our animals terrified and my sisters were red. I was scared that my mom and stepdad might hurt my sisters that I almost sent them to a friends house while I stayed in the house with my, older, disabled sister. I ended up decided on keeping them home because my mom was known to argue with anyone and everyone.
Every time my sister (13 years old now)go to see our dad I am afraid that my other two sisters will get hurt.
I go to sleep at around 12 every night just so I can be sure my mom and stepdad stop fighting. I live in constant fear that I will wake up and one of them will be dead.
To tell you the truth, I hate both of the parents I live with but there are some good times with them. I wish I could live some where that I know is safe for my sisters but I can't. I plan to stay in the picture until my sisters move out and I gain custudy of my disabled sister.
I never see myself as strong but my sisters say I am there hero, that I save their lives, that I am a wonderful person even though I don't cry, that I've protected them through the worst,

and I promise I will always protect them, even if it kills me.

I always push forward and try not to let hateful things distroy my self-esteem.

I believe you could understand my story and feelings.

Dec 09, 2007

To Anonymous (Story touched me)
by: Anonymous

hey!
thx for ur comment.
I totally understand you, and
thank you.
I loved your story, just
live each day to the fullest.
It may hurt, and sometimes you
may wanna quit.
But don't!
Life is sooo much worth living..

<3
Author of the story.

Jan 08, 2008

Some one cares
by: Jozey

Gurl I want you to know something. I know how it feels to get hurt by a father figure. And I know that you don't want to tell anyone because you dont want your parents to get hurt. The thing is, they are already hurting because of what they are doing. Now im not sayin that they feel sorry for what they are doing, its just that something is makin them lash out. And NOTHING about it is right. If you really love your sister, then you will tell someone and get her and yourself out of that situation. I spent 13 of my life geting beat up, when I finally said no, it didnt hurt him at all. After he beat me he used to go my room 10 minutes later and say that he was sorry and that he loved me. I bellieved him, until him and my mom got divorced. I was still going between his house and hers for a couple months, then i got the courage and stopped. Im glad that I did. Since then, ive been healing from the wounds that he has left. Gurl, its time you say no. My prayers are with you.

Jan 17, 2008

Not your fault
by: Anonymous

I just thought I should say it's not your fault and that God was watching and grieving for you. He intended for you to have a great life but your parents also have to make the choice to not abuse you. He can't force them

You're not to blame either and you should believe that no matter what.

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous