Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

by Anonymous
(United Kingdom)

Why I Don't Believe in Religion: Ever since I was around 8 or 9 years old I can remember crying in my room most days. Thinking back, most of the causes were small arguments with a sibling or parent which evolved into me being made to feel stupid and unimportant. I soon believed that it was impossible for me to have a truly happy day. Each time something good happened to me, as soon as I got home, I was back in my room within hours, feeling my heart ache.

I don't remember many specific arguments, but the pain I felt from each was sharp. It feels like there is a knife in my heart, and each negative comment twists it further in. At the age of 9, I sometimes thought that god or whatever was up there must simply hate me, and I thought of ending it all at times. As time went by, I came to a conclusion that there was no god; there was no higher force that would help me. We are alone in our lives, and death is the end.

I am 15 years old, and I regularly think about suicide. It's only the fact that I have good friends and that I can leave home in 9 months that has kept me going for this long; and that gives me the strength to pull out of this.

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

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Nov 25, 2007

Emotional child abuse scars to the bone
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

I understand your feelings about the existence of a god; when I was 12, I too walked away from religion, in part, for the same reasons you have. So I won't tell you that there is or there isn't a god. Instead, what I will say is that you don't really want to die. What you want is for the pain to end. What you want is to be treated with respect. What you want is to feel important and loved and cherished and nurtured by the people who are supposed to make you feel important and loved and cherished and nurtured. Your parents really have failed you. Don't let their failures be the catalyst that ends your life; you have too much to offer.

You have good friends. This tells me you are a loving and giving person yourself, because in order to have good friends, you must first be a good friend. And you're smart. Smart people know the positive things they have in their lives, and they hang on to those positive things. Hang on to your good friends. Use them for support. But you need more than the support they can offer you.

I urge you to contact ChildLine at 0800 1111 in London, England. They have trained counsellors who are on the job 24/7. Check out their website www.donthideit.com You're worth it, dear. You really are.

Nov 25, 2007

So sorry
by: Linda

Hi. I read your story. I'm so sorry you're only 15 and have been made to feel so cruddy for so long. How terrible you must feel! I really identified with your feelings and I thank you for writing it. You should write more. I bet people would really benefit from reading it and someone needs to know they are not alone.
Where will you go? You must have a plan that is safe and long lasting. I know you feel desperate and fed-up but prepare. It's something you may need help with. Talk to your friends parents maybe. You should find a counselor at school. They helped me make sense of the chaos when I needed someone who understood on a higher level.
Regarding religion and higher forces...I can tell you how I really felt exactly like you. I thought, "yeah, right. Thanks a lot god you don't exist." But now I have learned that there are 2 forces at work on our lives and the people around us. It is the evil force that makes all the crap happen. Only understanding and reaching out to God will give us power to keep the evil, rotton poison that is our families from consuming us.
Hang in there. Be smart and cautious. Linda from Buffalo

Nov 27, 2007

strength
by: Anonymous

thank you for your story. Reading your story helped me realize that my emotional abuse was real and it did leave scars and it does matter.

I thought about death. I said goodbye to God too. I don't believe in religion.

I do believe in spirituality. And I have found thorugh various types of therapy and 12 step programs a way to find healing. It's helping. I'm getting better.

Thank you for taking the time to write your story. I immediately related and remembered how it was. I'm 29 now. I have an amazing and fabulous life. I'm glad I didn't committ suicide and I got help instead.

This year I sat with my parents and told them that I viewed their behavior as abuse and that I hold them accountable for not getting the help they needed to protect me from themselves. we agreed to disagree whether or not it was abuse (one of the reasons I have had a difficult time learning to trust my reality) and I left feeling like I had my power back. I no longer have to hide and feel ashamed for needing help to recover.

I didn't get abused alone and I can't recover alone. Today I choose the people I let in my life. Today I can walk away from people or situations that make me feel badly about myself.

Thank you for your courage to share.

Nov 28, 2007

Me 2
by: Anonymous

Hey,
I really connect to what your are saying. I am 14 and have recently been thinking about suicide because i thought there was no hope. If it wasnt for my friends and my guidance counsler I probably would have done it. Just hang in there and pull through it I have hope for you....and I'm trying to have hope for myself.I talked to awoman from a teen crisisorganization and she helped so much. Just thought I would leave my comment. Enjoy your friends.....they seem very important to you.
Much Love.
LMR

Dec 04, 2007

Please listen...
by: Jamie

I'm sorry about what you went through, and though I've been through hard times, you've most likely been through worse. I don't know if your veiws are the same now and I don't know how much you've grown but please don't rule God out totally. Or maybe it's not even God that you're ruling out its the believing in something or someone that could actually help you. I know that what u went through was difficult and choosing not to believe is taking the easy way out. It's great that you have wonderful friends and I agree if I didnt have mine I'd be close to your situation but when things get bad and no one is answering their phone dont be afraid to turn to God, because he does listen more than you know and your prayers, if they dont get answered right away there is a reason for it. This whole situation has completely sucked for you but it's tryin to make you stronger, and you not giving up on life, that shows you are one strong person. Good luck in life.

Dec 19, 2007

Comment
by: Anonymous

I completely understand where you're coming from but I ask that you please don't forget about God. Even though it seems like things are bad, you need to remember that God is in control of good and bad situations. God listens to you whether you know it or not so please keep believing and don't give up on religion just yet. I promise you'll get help eventually if you continue to believe.

Dec 22, 2007

God!!!
by: Gabriela

I come form a very abusive background, sexual, physical and emotional. I wonder why you say you think God hates you. God dosent hate he loves and just because he loves does not mean life will be perfect. My life is not perfect but I know God loves me. I am 18 and at your age I felt exactley the same. You are not stupid, you are not unimportant. Do not let what others say determine your life and the out-come. I know it hurts especially from people you love but be strong be brave. You dont have to believe in God, religion is some-thing that you must choose for yourself. If you don't choose religion that is okay. But God does love you and he believes in you even if you don't.
You will always be loved by some-one. Survive and you'll only come out stronger and wiser.

Gabriela

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous