Child Abuse Story From Anonymous Teen

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous Teen

by Anonymous Teen
(Location Undisclosed)

Ever since I was a little boy ( age 4-5 ), I was physically and emotionally abused, and on one occasion sexually abused. I'm only 15 now, but my memory of my childhood is very hazy, but i'll try to share some of what I remember.

My dad has a very angry/controlling personality. I grew up as the youngest child with a brother/sister that were 5 years older than me, and there was a boy that was born 1 year before me but it was a miscarriage.

I always felt that my dad hated me and loved my sister/brother.Since i was 4 or 5, my sister/brother, being older would pick/fight with me alot. Whenever I tried to defend myself, my dad would beat me. Whenever I had a different opinion on something then my dad, I would get beat.

I would get whipped with belts, hit with shoes, coat hangers, wooden spoons/rollers, smacked around, and when i was older (7>), punched with closed fists and burned with a stove burner.

I remember the first time I got punched with a closed fist, i was 7 years old and couldn't finish eating a sandwich because i was sick. My dad yelled at me and tried forcing it down my throat. I was choking, and tried to get him to stop forcing it down my throat, thats when he punched me several times in the face, and left me with a black eye.

That wasn't the only time I got a black eye from him, i must have got around 10-15 black eyes, all of which were from being hit in the face , or getting my face slammed into a wall/table. My mom would always just stand by and watch, and my siblings always encouraged him to beat me , as they never liked me. When i got black eyes my mom would tell me to tell the teachers at school if they asked that i fell off the play structure.

I always felt them my family hates me , and still do. My parents spoiled my brother/sister and basically just ignored/beat me.

Two of the worst incidents of physical abuse i remember were when i was 9 and 10. When I was 9 I started smoking weed with friends, but realized how much happier it made me and started smoking it daily alone, to try to escape all the drama at home. If your wondering where a 9yo gets money to smoke weed daily, I was constantly stealing ipods from the change room in my school and later selling them. Well, my parents found out i smoked weed after my brother caught me and told them. My dad just grabbed me as soon as I got home, dragged me upstairs and threw me on his bed. He got ontop of me and kept punching me then kicking me in the face. I thought if I didn't cry and just stayed still that it would stop, but it lasted a good half hour , my brother and sister were standing watching encouraging him to keep beating me and my mom was just watching. When it was over I ran to my room and cried.

At the time i felt like i was going to pass out , and lost alot of blood, there was blood gushing out of nose and left ear, so much that on my shirt where my left shoulder was soaked in blood. I tried to wash my face of the blood and then went to sleep as i was so "woozy" at the time.

Another incident, when i was 10 I was caught stealing @ Walmart and brought home by the police. As soon as the cops left, my dad turned on the burner on the stove. I was crying/screaming at the time because i knew what he was going to do. He held both of my hands down on the stove burner. I was crying/screaming even harder but it didn't help, he held them there till he thought i had enough, which was what i know now were second degree burns. I was running my hand under cold water for hours after that, and was in pain for a long time. This was in the summer so no teachers/etc noticed.

I was never treated medically, my parents never brought me to the hospital. And i was always scared to tell anyone about what was happening.

Later that year, ( 10 years old ), i was at my friends house, which i knew for basically my whole life and was one of the only people i really trusted. Well he was 1 year older than me , and had a brother who was 17 or 18 at the time. His brother had his friends over, and i remember them holding me down and undressing me naked. I couldnt do anything as they were alot bigger, older, and i was always / still am small for my age. They kept looking at my penis, and eventually felt sorry for me and stopped when i started crying. My friend actually helped them pin me down. This was the first/only time something like this happened, and although it wasn't rape or anything , it was still embarrassing and i had no power of the situation or anything.

My parents always told me that they never wanted me and want the other boy instead ( the one that was "miscarried".)

When i was 13 is when i realized what was happening was abuse, and started having flashbacks of alot of events that happened. At this time i was still getting abused, but it wasn't much to me anymore as i would always compare them to the other 2 events and feel im lucky that it isn't that bad, and i kind of got used to it. I became really depressed and was appointed to a doctor/psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with social anxiety / insomnia / PTSD.

I am now 15, and trying to get my life back together after being kicked out of school / charged with robbery, which was very selfish/stupid. And is going to be on my record until im 22 years old.

I stopped smoking weed, stopped stealing/robbing, and no longer live with my parents, i live with an old family friend who use to babysit me when i was younger. Though I still get flashbacks daily ( some that are pretty traumatic that i just remember out of nowhere ) and am struggling with social anxiety / PSTD / insomnia.

I have been lurking this site reading stories before deciding to post my own. Alot of stories here really made me feel sorry for people and wished there was some may i can help stop child abuse.

I left out alot of detail, but i am not a good writer and don't really have the time right now to right a book.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous Teen

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Oct 19, 2011

Anonymous Teen:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I can't tell you how delighted I am that one, you are no longer in that horrific environment, two, that you are now in a safe place, and three, that you have cleaned up your life. You are a testament to what can happen to a child who is horribly abused, but even more, your are a testament to how love and kindness can turn everything around. I hope you are still seeing the psychiatrist in order to help you with the anxiety, the flashbacks and the PTSD. You've been so honest here, which endears you to me that much more. You had no control over what your sickeningly abusive parents did to you. With the love of this new (old) family, you can take back the power that you were denied; and with that power you can choose to become your full potential. Keep re-building your life; after all, you're certainly worth it. And in that re-building, perhaps you will choose to turn pain into power. I'm so glad you're still with us. I send you love, light and peace, Anonymous Teen, and I thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Oct 19, 2011

where was everyone...?!
by: My Two Cents

Anonymous, I am also glad you're safe. No one should experience abuse.

I am disappointed that nobody noticed the pain you were in as a child and acted to protect you. You specifically mentioned the 2nd degree burns were during summer so no teachers noticed, but what about the rest of the time? You had to have been heavily bruised, moving stiffly, and you had injuries like black eyes.

I don't buy that nobody knew. I think everybody assumed someone else would do the "right thing" and brushed off the responsibility. Bah...that crap just really gets me going.

If you don't know, certain people like teachers, doctors, nurses, school counsellors, etc, are mandated reporters. They are required by their professional lisencing bodies, their codes of ethics, and usually the law to report suspicions of child abuse. They don't have to ask you about anything. They don't have to do anything but make a phone call and give child welfare your name and the location of your school.

Child welfare is responsible for investigating the allegation and protecting you if necessary. From what you've written it sounds like the local child welfare authorities were never informed.

If that's the case, you may want to look at whether or not you can sue the school board/district, maybe even individual teachers for something like failure to protect a child in danger, or failing professional responsibilities, etc. I really want to see survivors suing people who failed to act, in hopes more people will take their responsibilities and duties seriously.

At the end of the day, your decision. I hope you consider it. Oh, and I also think the people that hurt you should be punished as well with prison sentences and ordered to pay you restitution for the harm they did.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

Oct 19, 2011

The Horror
by: Anonymous

Anonymous Teen, I can't believe that your mom would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick, sadistic monster of a father and allow him to beat and berate you 24/7...how dare she! Shame on her for running away from you all the time instead of protecting you from that beast! I am disgusted by her uncaring behavior towards you; A mother who chooses such a vicious brute over her own precious son is not only the willing enabler but also the kind of mother who didn't deserve to have said son in her life. The path that they chose is inexcusable. Oh, and did I mention that they also abused your brother and sister by grooming them to be anti-social towards you as well? Oh, and burning your hands on the stove is a cowardly thing to do. Oh, and you are not to blame for their sadistic, cowardly, ignorant behavior; they are to blame because they chose to abuse you. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you. Oh, and I'm glad that the family friend is with you now because that person is so sweet for doing that; I just hope that you stay in counselling and that you look into reporting that sadistic beast of a father as well as your uncaring enabler of a mother.

Oct 20, 2011

Courage
by: Carrie

I am so so sorry that you endured so much abuse. My heart just breaks for you. I'm very relieved that you are safe and inspired that at such a young age, you have chosen to no longer smoke or steal. What courage you have. Here is to a bright future.

Oct 20, 2011

Kia Kaha
by: Trina

Kia Kaha means 'Stay Strong' in Maori. I wish you all the best my little friend. I work with children who have suffered abuse and it never ever fails to make me cry. I felt your hurt and I am so sorry this happened to you. It was wrong. You are not a son by birthright, You are a son by deed. All mothers and fathers can lay claim to that title but it is by deed that the claim is truly owned. Your biological birth givers are and will always be just that, biological birth givers, never allow them to be more than that or your hurt will remain. Leave them in that little box and go find true love. It is out there, I promise you that. Live a good, productive life, stay at school and be the best and most talented young man you can be. And you will show them honey, you will show them.

Oct 21, 2011

Hi AnonTeen
by: AnonymousT

First, you are a good writer. I could understand it all, you left a clear picture and you were precise and detailed -so please remember that you are good at this.

Second, I am so sorry your family treated you this way. I want you to know that even though it is horrible, it is common that a family will abuse one of its members, so please do not feel this was you or anything you did. It's just luck of the draw & that sucks. Your family was horrible and you deserved none of it.

I'm so proud of you for trying to heal and living with someone who won't hurt you - that's step one. And what a big step it is! Bravo!! :) Please keep up the good work and know that you have much to offer this world. You're only 15, yet you've learned so much. You will be a strong, sensitive man someday. I know it.

T

Oct 21, 2011

Anonymous Teen
by: Anonymous Teen

Hi,
Sorry I haven't replied earlier, i've been busy with 12 hr shifts :/.

Thanks for all the replys, what you all said really made me feel better about sharing my story here.

About teachers not noticing marks, sometimes they would ask and I just said what I was told [ i fell off a playstructer bike etc ]. They gave me counselling because of all the fights at school / drugs and some of the first questions they asked were if there is abuse at home, which I always denied and said no. I've never took counselling seriously until recently.

Nov 02, 2011

who's asking.....?
by: My Two Cents

Anonymous Teen,

I'm getting the sense from your reply that the people who were asking you were teachers and other adults in your life.

The process that is supposed to be followed when someone suspects child abuse, they are supposed to contact child welfare, and child welfare investigates. Child welfare abuse investigators are specifically trained to investigate child abuse allegations, to use probing questions, to review medical files, and to investigate the allegation. It doesn't mean that they will catch the abuse but the chances are better than a teacher with a vague concern, maybe three child abuse workshops (example) under their belt asking you if someone is hurting you.

I understand that the adults who asked you if everything was ok, and checked in with you, they thought they were doing the correct thing. They weren't.

The fact that they asked you in the first place means they suspected.

What I'm really trying to figure out is this. I got the sense that more than one person asked you about your injuries. That means more than one person suspected. Being that teachers and counsellors among others are mandated reporters (required to report suspected abuse by law and their professional lisencing bodies) I can't understand why child welfare wasn't contacted.

A story that might help. I have a bachelor's degree in social work. I was trained as a generalist so that I could work in several fields - child welfare, social assistance, community development, individual counselling.....etc.
I don't work in child welfare.

In the past 15 years, I have become aware of 3 potential abuse cases. In each case, I documented the specifics, whether there was a verbal disclosure, or visible bruises or what it was that made me suspect abuse. I documented the times, dates, locations, my relationship to the person - babysitter, volunteer, staff, bystander, etc - and I typed up that info and gave it to child welfare for them to investigate.

(I live in Canada. All adults who suspect child abuse are required by law to report it.)

I did not investigate it myself. I did not ask questions of the children involved. Why? I don't have any experience in investigating child abuse. I would rather the experts do it and get it right.

I personally would rather report 100 potential cases to child welfare and have them all be unfounded than risk having one child living in fear and pain from abuse.

Anyways....your story just really bothered me on that score. It's incredibly frustrating that people who should know better did not report it to child welfare. I am always going to wonder, what if child welfare was told? Could you have been helped...? And that bothers me.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

Nov 02, 2011

You're Amazing
by: Anonymous

just reading this puts me in awe. you must understand how much of a beautiful person you are, for you could withstand all of this and even become more mature than most people your age and even 2ce your age. i just turned 16, and wish i could be there for you. being a teen is hard enough, without this added stress that you never deserved.
you're a good writer if you can pull people into your story, and even though it was short, that is most definitely what you did. I hope you can accomplish all of your dreams in life and i bet you can, too! you seem like a superhero to me, and you should realize that i look up to you even if I don't know you or that you are younger than me in years.
It is also one of my goals (at the top of the list) to stop child abuse. i wish you the best of luck, you superhero!!!

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous Teen

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Child Abuse Story From Anonymous Teen