Child Abuse Story From Angel

by Angel
(California, USA)

Looking back, it's only now that I realize what happened to me when I was younger. And it hurts; some of the pain I feel now is from having done nothing, of letting my abuser get away scot free.

When I was 6, my mom married a man I can say I have never liked, and like even less now that he is no longer in my life. He would stand me and my brother in the corner for 5 or 6 hours at a time, and we had to stand a certain way, or he'd swat us. The time in the corner was uncalled for, as we had never done anything to deserve it.

When I was 8, he had taken a wooden spoon and spanked my brother with it, causing it to break on the first whap. My brother's father called CPS on my mom's husband, and he went to jail for that. And I went to counseling. The counselor talked to me about zones on the body that are appropriate or inappropriate for other people to touch. What I wish I had known at the time was that it's not just touch that's inappropriate. And I can't stress that enough for people to tell their kids, because kids need to know.

What I had blocked out at the time of my counseling, and had blocked out until I was 16 or 17, is that my mother's husband would watch me shower. I cannot say if he did it repeatedly. I honestly don't know if he did or not, but I do remember him making me uncomfortable when I was 8 because he was "making sure I was showering correctly". At 8, a child does not need to be watched in the shower.

When I was about 12/13, just hitting puberty, he started looking at me differently. He was noticing my body more, looking at me in a way I could not stand. And he started in on the verbal/emotional abuse...calling me stupid, fat, ugly...every day. It got to the point where any time I was home alone with him, I would leave. I would go to a friend's house, even for just a few hours, just to escape from him long enough to maintain my sanity.

I'm sure my story pales in contrast to some or even most of the other stories on this site, but what he did to me the many years he was a part of my life hurt and scarred me for life. I can never erase those images from my mind, and I would never wish this or anything like it on anybody.

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