Child Abuse Story From Andy
by Andrea
(Australia )
I was a blond haired, blue eyed, chubby but cute child. You could say I was the victim of child incest molestation, although I hate the word Victim (especially if it's applied to me) it wasn?t my father, or even my step-father, wasn?t a brother or a male cousin, or a male in general. No, it was my sister. Merely two years older then me and she was sexually abusing me at 6 years old.
At first it wasn?t bad, she was almost nice in the way she treated me, it started out as a weird child?s play. But just a few years later it morphed into something not even I like to hear about anyone else let alone myself.
I can barley remember my childhood, but every once in a while I will have a memory or a dream of an event that happened and I could never UN-remember it. I will tell you a little short story of how the abuse came to my attention.
A friend and I were at my house playing Barbie's after reading books on true stories about child abuse and neglect when mum demanded I get out side and vacuum out the car before we had to take it to the mechanics. We sat in the boot of our station wagon for hours discussing what we read in the books and I made a comment that went a little like this. I was explaining what happened to a little girl who had gone into foster care, her comment in the book was ?I hate it when girls go it, they don?t have willies so it hurts more and the spoon is always too cold.? I quoted that to my friend and followed it up with my own comment of ?spoon? brush handle? same difference.? And that little slip of the tongue brought many repressed memories back to me and my life spiraled out of my control from that point on.
I had always been an angry child, I didn?t know this until I was a bit older and my mother told me she used to be scared to go to sleep out of fear that I would kill her in her sleep.
My memory is still very jumbled up as it's only been five years since the abuse stopped I am now 19 years old, I don?t know what order my memories go in.
So instead I will just generalize it.
As children, me and my sister would play child games such as doctors, mums and dads, TV stars, We would play a game of Cinemas, where you buy fake tickets to get into the movies to watch a DVD, we would play hide and seek in the secluded area of bush just on the border of our backyard at the time. But it was never innocent. Playing doctors, the surgical procedures were always something to do with private parts. Playing mums and dads always included the making of babies. Playing TV stars was always about pretending to be porn stars. Playing Cinemas was always watching porn when mum went out. Playing hide and seek always meant the loser had to perform a sexual act on the other.
As a child I had no idea it was wrong, but I had a feeling about it. And my sister was always threatening me, ?if you tell mum I will say it's your fault and she will hate you forever.? ?If you don?t do it I?ll tell mum.? ?Do it or I?ll hurt you? ?I?ll break your horses if you don?t stop crying? it was emotional abuse at its worst.
I remember a few specific times that I?m willing to share. The one time I was about nine, she dared me to kiss her like mum and dad did, using their tongues, I was repulsed by the idea immediately, but she gave me a Chinese burn until I surrendered. So standing in the car port with no one around to see I did what she asked and I nearly puked as soon as our tongues made contact.
This is probably one of my earliest memories, I was roughly six to seven at the time when my sister was big enough and I was small enough for her to pick me up and carry me. She stripped me down, put me in the empty bathtub and turned the taps on, no plug; she positioned my vagina right under the stream of water, as a small child it was a shock to suddenly feel intense feeling where I had never considered would be of any importance. I jumped up out of the bath in shock. ?Get back in!? my sister demanded. I fought with all I had not to get back in that tub, I screamed, I swore I think I even bit her before she finally gave up on the act and moved straight to punishment of tipping a jug of boiling water over me.
When I was about eight, we were in the bath together, she decided she wanted to play doctors and I was the patient. She inserted objects inside me, front and back. Can?t say it hurt because I don?t remember feeling, just sight. That was the first time I had ever been penetrated from behind.
At about seven years old she introduced a new torture that she had been using for a while, it involved our pet Maltese, its tongue, a short skirt and no underwear in the corner of the back yard. I ran back to the house but the escape was short lived when she came into my room at night.
Then another time when I was about eleven I was asleep in bed, she shook me awake at almost three am demanding I finger her. By age eleven, this had become standard practice and it was the easiest thing she ever made me do but it was no less repulsive, then after she had an orgasm (or as we called it ?out of lack of knowledge- a funny feeling) she said it was my turn and I almost peed myself with fear, I was shaking and broke out in a cold sweat. She forced me down and with no mercy, shoved an object down as far as it would go.
So at age eleven she tore my hymen.
I can?t really remember much else but the endless crying and the hopelessness.
Some people may think it's strange but I still speak to my sister. For a while I hated her and wanted to beat her up and wanted her to die and all the rest of it but since it all came out two years after the abuse stopped, everything has calmed down and she has admitted to it and apologized, I can?t tell you how much those simple little words meant. ?I?m sorry you know, about what happened, I didn?t know what I was doing? I just? my only hope is that I haven?t screwed you up so much that you will never get a boyfriend.? Her (almost) exact words.
I do wish she had told her boyfriend so that it saved me a year of his verbal abuse telling me I was a liar and I had weight issues and not to take them out on my sister. I understand my sister?s point of view now. That she was ashamed of what she did and didn?t want him to know, I don?t even want people to know I was abused so it makes sense? Anyway, just wanted to shout out to all the child abused people out there who were abused by woman or girls, I hardly ever see a story about it and though I was on my own but now I know I'm not and hope I can help anyone with my story.
Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:
Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
