Child Abuse Story From Andrew1

by Andrew
(Location Undisclosed)

I was skating at the roller-rink in the park. After a while I sits down carefully, as my father had leathered me the night before me for being bad. There's lots of boys and girls and mums and dads going round in the sunshine. The manager comes over and tells me I can come on Saturday mornings with the other learners. So I go on Saturdays and it's good. I get ice cream and he helps me and I learn to skate better. He says I can come for free on Sunday mornings when the rink is closed and he tidies up. I go and skate for free and he talks to me and gives me juice and crisps. He will show me how to fire an air rifle. And next time I skate and then go in the changing rooms to fire the gun. There's a target and mats and sandbags on the wooden floor. We lie down and he shows how to load the gun and holds me in the right position and when I hit the target he gives me a hug. Next time I go he says not to skate outside so much as we might get in trouble. So we do the gun more. He hugs me for a good shot then rubs my front and says that's a good boy. When the rubbing gets harder I try to get away but he is so strong and he's a bit angry. And all this time he never stops rubbing me. Then I can't move at all, and I just think not to get a stiffy. But I can't stop it and there is no going back. My shorts gets taken off and it all goes faster and I get dizzy and jerk around. I like the strange feeling and when he gobbles me later I don't struggle. Then shows me his funny white stuff coming out and gives back my clothes and tells me to keep quiet as I will get in deep trouble. That was the first time. I began having compulsive masturbation after that and got abused by some older boys too. I couldn't do my schoolwork and started going to public toilets where homosexual men watched.

In later years I found I had difficult sexual relations with my girlfriends and I was still self harming. Many years on I have not come to terms and I'm deeply ashamed and angry about this secret in my head.

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