Child Abuse Story From Andrew Richards Part 3

by Andrew Richards
(Sydney, Australia)

See Part 1 and Part 2 of Andrew's story on this site.

Fortunately this story does have somewhat of a happy ending – at least one in the making. I realised from seeing my parents that trying to bury your scars and abuse only turns them into a pressure cooker. Sure you function fine on the surface, but eventually it builds up until at age 40 you wind up breaking down, cracking up, committing suicide or having a mid-life crisis, as happens to so many people out there. So when I began to realise that my family had been hurting me systematically, long before emotional abuse was recognised, I was determined to let myself feel everything and deal with everything. Now I'm making progress that many people don't truly make until their mid-40s or later, if ever.

The abuse has made my mind a war-zone with emotions, attacking me like voices attack someone who is mentally ill. Every day is part of a war of attrition where the end goal is survival – that's how I used to see it before I found that core statement. Now over these past couple of weeks, my life is changing and I know the tide of the war is turning. The goal is now to be the man a happy childhood would have made me, accompanied by the wisdom that this childhood has given me. My first 30 years of my life will have been hell, but I can tell that my 30s are going to be amazing. Sure there'll be the odd crisis, catastrophe, problem, etc., but it won't be the same person facing it. In these 2 short weeks, that much has become abundantly clear.

Hopefully this story can help friends who don't know what life was really like for me, know what I've been through, and how it's shaped me.

Ideally though, maybe there's a kid out there where I was who'll read this and be able to see from this that what's happening to them is wrong and inexcusable – something I didn't have growing up in the days when emotional abuse wasn't recognised.

Or maybe there's someone out there like me who's grown up with it and is fighting their own demons, who can know from this that you're not alone and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that the war can be won.

Either way, I hope by putting this out there that people either gain understanding, hope and/or empowerment from this.

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