Child Abuse Story From Allison W
by Allison W
(Indiana, USA)
Abused by Sister:
When I was 5 my sister came up to me wanting to play a game. She was two years older so I just assumed what she did was normal. She told me to lay on her bed and stay very still. She got ontop of me and looked at me with such affection that I longed for from my sister. However this type of affection was not one I was prepared for. She did things that you weren't supposed to know about till marrage. She told me to keep it secret. This lasted till I was in sixth grade. When I turned thirteen I finally told my sister no. She got mad and I didn't see her for many months at a time. She was my sister by my father. Now I am a junior in high school. This is the first time I have spoken about it publicly. A month ago I told my parents. They never even noticed. I have no hatred directed at my parents. I do see my sister. I am still not comfortible with her. This has changed my life dramaticly. I went from a happy child to a depressed child really quickly. I became angry all the time. Now I see a theropist every two weeks. I got so depressed that I tried to commit suicide on many many diffrent occations. It was an obsetion. I just wanted to die. Living with this kind of abuse for most of your life gives you a blindness. This past summer I was raped. I felt nothing. I was so used to it. When you are sexualy abused there is a physical numbness. You don't care anymore because you don't think people care about you. I am 18 years old. I still hate my life. I just wanted to say to other people that its not just something you go through. You can't just catch the person and it be over with. At night I remember what goes on and I feel like I'm five again. She was my sister. I loved her. I have nightmares from it from time to time. Its an internal mental war. It can consume you.
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