Child Abuse Story From Alexis1

by Alexis
(Location Undisclosed)

I was physically and sexually abused at the age of 7 for a year. I can't say that what has happened to me is the worst. But it's definitely a story that is worth telling. I am 14 years old, and I can honestly say that I'm still living with the pain today. I just can't get over what has happened to me. But then again, I'm so proud of myself for staying so strong, and learning how to take every punch. Here is my story.

My grandmother died in a tragic house fire 7 years ago. My grandfather, who was not home at the time, had nowhere to live. So he stayed with us while his home was being remodeled. At this time, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. So while my dad was always at the hospital with my mom, my grandpa watched me. So he decided to take advantage. Every day, while no one was home, he used to touch me in inappropriate places. I was 7. I didn't know what he was doing. But I knew it was wrong. He would come in my room at night, and lay down in my bed with me and start taking off his pants and underwear. He would then put my hands on his genitals and make me give him oral sex. Sometimes he would begin lying on top of me, rubbing my private area with his hands. The sexual abuse didn't take place only at night. He also did it sometimes during the day if I were in my room.

The physical abuse came in when I didn't do what I was told. Or if I looked at him funny. As I forgot to mention, he is was and still is an alcoholic. So he would beat me whenever he was drunk, which was a lot. He used anything and everything to punish me with. And sometimes, he took it to extreme.

One day, he had asked me to light his cigarette. Once again, I was seven, so I didn't know how. So as I attempted to light it, he saw that I was having trouble. He got mad. And he started to punch me. He then laid me flat on the floor, on my stomach, and lifted up my shirt. I was afraid to move so I just laid there. I didn't know at all what he was doing. So I looked through the corner of my eye as best I could, and I saw that he was lighting his cigarette. He then picked me up, laid me on his lap, with my bear back facing up, and he began burning me with his cigarette. Over and over. He even had to continuously light new ones. It was probably the most pain I've ever been in.

As time passed by, he still continued to do what he did every day. Sometimes weren't so bad but still had the extremes. He's locked me in a closet for three days while my mom was having a major surgery and my dad called and said he couldn't find the time to come home. So of course, my "grandpa" took advantage, and locked me in my bedroom closet for three days. With a pillow and a ragged blanket. No food. No water.

After that, I didn't want to take it any longer. I attempted to commit suicide, but I was even too scared just to do that. I was confused and alone. He threatened that if I ever told anyone, he would kill me. So that added on to my stress. I was relieved whenever my parents came home. But I had to cover everything up. And if it were visible, I would have to lie and say I tripped or fell.

My grandfather's house was finally remodeled by the end of the year. Even though he's gone, I still feel he's in my presence. I get nightmares every so often that have me waking up and screaming at the top of my lungs. But I just say I had a scary dream to my parents. And indeed, scary it was.

To this day my parents do not know about my past, nor do I plan on telling them. The man is almost dead and gone. He's basically drinking his life away. Maybe someday I will tell them my story, but I don't want to focus on that right now. I want to focus on my life.

To any of you reading this, if you were abused or still are being abused, just know that you are one person and NO ONE can control you. Stand up for yourself and call a child helpline. That is one of the many things I should have done. But I don't regret it because I stayed strong. Every night, I thought about it. And I believed in myself. I believed that everything will be okay. You know what you should do. So do it. Suicide is NEVER the answer. That's just giving up. You're giving up on life. And most of all, you're giving up on yourself. I know what it's like so you're not alone. Stay strong. God is with you. His help, and my strength helped keep me alive.

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