Child Abuse Story From A Survivor

by A Survivor
(California)

My Unspoken Truth: 
I'm so glad I finally found a site where I can finally speak the truth. I'm currently 21 years old, and since I was little I have always had "flashbacks" of what happened. It's really ironic to me because I never understood flashbacks...and to realize that I have had them for years...scares me.

When I was 3-4 years old I remember I lived with my parents and 2 older sisters downstairs. My grandma, aunties, uncles, and cousins lived upstairs. I remember I went upstairs and my cousin, who was probably in high school, would invite me to his room. There he would rape me. I don't know how young you could be to remember things but that is the main one I always have flashbacks of. Constantly it haunts me just thinking about the abuse I had from him. And I don't even know when it began.

But by God's graces he finally let that house burn down. My family were having a house party and all the electricity they used started a fire. Thank God because when we finally found a house, I overheard my mother having an argument with my auntie. They were arguing over my middle sister, because it seems that she was brave enough to tell my mother she was raped by our cousin. First my auntie said she was a liar and then she end up saying that it was my sister's fault. That is why till this day I still don't join my family functions; it's the same dirty cousin that raped me. It's really disgusting to know that he was raping both of us. It makes me wonder if he ever touched my oldest sister too. But I just don't want to bring it up anymore.

When I found out about my sister, I found out that what he was doing to me was wrong. My mother got a lawyer, but when they tried to bring it to court, they didn't have enough evidence and it never pulled through. So there was never any justice. I hate him every day for it, but I am a strong person and I know that I am a survivor.

My advice to young girls reading my story is that you should never ever be afraid. If someone is doing anything to make you feel uncomfortable, let a trusted adult know. No one should ever feel like they should live in fear. If someone in your family is making you feel uncomfortable let your teacher or neighbor know, anybody who is a trusted adult.

Thank you for letting my story be heard for the first time.

Note from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

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