child abuse story from Tim page was created February 16, 2007 and was
originally posted on February 10, 2007 as story #74.
is from Calgary, Alberta, Canada
following child abuse story from Tim depicts sexual abuse and emotional abuse.
The child abuse effects on Tim: personality changes, terror, withdrawal, violently acting out, drug and alcohol abuse, near-death from overdose, and overwhelming guilt over keeping the silence
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My story starts when I was twelve. The family next door to my family were good friends. The boy who was my age had an uncle (Gerry) that was always around and hung out with us kids. No one at that time thought it strange that a twenty-something-year-old man was hanging out with kids twelve to fourteen years old for some reason.
My nightmare started one night after a show, when Gerry said he’d drive us all home. Somehow, all the other kids were dropped off first, until it was just Gerry and me. He was much bigger than I was at age twelve, so it was not hard for him to overpower me. When he was finished he told me that if I told anyone, no one would believe me, or they would think I was gay and that my father (a violent army officer) would kill me. Like a fool, I believed him.
In the days and weeks that followed, my personality drastically changed. I would run in terror every time I would see his truck enter the neighborhood. I would beg my parents to say that I was out when he and the other kids would come to call. I became withdrawn and acted out violently to those vulnerable around me. Even though my parents and many other adults in our neighborhood saw my behavior, no one questioned it. I believe people were caught up in the “don’t get involved 'cause the truth is too ugly” thinking.
Years of drug and alcohol abuse followed, but came to a head in 1990 when I overdosed and thought I was dead. At that point, I decided to live. I quit drugs, controlled my drinking (sort of) and moved away from my home to start a new life.
I still re-live what happened to me almost every day, but deal with it. I am a borderline alcoholic, but manage to get by. I live with the guilt of not saying anything, or reporting what happen to me. Because of my silence, many other boys suffered my fate and had their lives ruined, and I know that at least one died as a result.
I hope that anyone reading this, that is suffering abuse right now, will somehow gain the courage to speak up, and save a life, or many lives!
If you are a witness to a child acting suspiciously, for God sake, ask questions. And not just one or two to cover your ass, but really ask and listen to the answers. Most victims want to tell what is happening, but feel there is no way they can. Assure them that it is OK to tell and encourage them. Remember, this is the hardest thing they have ever had to do, and they are terrified. But they will try like hell to cover it up, because they believe it is life or death; and it is!
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Tim was re-formatted June 13, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life