child abuse story from Meru was created October 5, 2006 and was originally
posted on September, 18, 2006 as story #35.
is from Salmon Arm, British Columbia, Canada
following child abuse story from Meru depicts emotional abuse at the hands of
her father and sister, and sexual abuse by her cousin, sister, and other
The child abuse effects on Meru: depression, self-blame, low self-esteem, constant fear, the inability to stand up for herself, and entering into dysfunctional and/or abusive relationships.
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don't have very many good memories of my childhood. I had two older sisters,
and was usually ignored.
used to have a cyst on my kidney, which made me wet my pants and my bed. One
time my dad told me if I didn't stop he would send me to an orphanage. So I
would live everyday trying to hide it. [I] would go for weeks with soaking wet
bed sheets and dirty clothes because I was so ashamed and so afraid that my dad
would send me away.
dad always spoiled my middle sister. And the oldest sister was the one who
always got into trouble. I always felt insecure and ignored.
year we went to my grandparents house for Christmas, and my cousin sexually
molested me. He told me that if I told anyone then I would get into trouble.
Again that fear of being sent away was struck in my heart.
even a year later, my oldest sister would sexually molest me. She told me I had
to or she would tell my parents that I still wet the bed. So I did what she
told me to for well over 6 months. By the time I realized it was wrong, it was
I was fourteen I went to a friend's house, and we were drinking. She invited a
guy that she knew over. He introduced me to marijuana. She [my friend] got so
drunk that she could barely move on her own. The guy made advances on me and I
was too scared to do anything. I shook my head no, but I was too scared to say
no. I felt like I let it happen.
even a year later, it was nine days after my 15th birthday, I was raped by
someone who I thought was a close friend. I had told him no, but again [I] did
not have the courage to fight. I had withheld that information for years. It
was my downfall.
have issues with letting guys take advantage of me. I am still very afraid to
say no now and to fight. I have difficulties being in a decent relationship. My
haunted past always messes it all up.
I am now turning 20 this year, and I'm in a relationship that isn't abusive in any way . . . but I'm so afraid that this depression I struggle with due to my past is going to tear it all apart, like it has torn me apart.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Meru was re-formatted June 6, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life
Apr 25, 17 08:19 AM
I had been repressing the guilt of playing sexual games and forcing my cousin brother to tongue kissing with me. I am 24 now but keep remembering the same
Apr 18, 17 11:04 AM
I was in my 10th standard and like every girl, I was very conscious of the weight problem. I used to go to my Music tuitions in the evening, and once I
Apr 13, 17 10:32 AM
I am having a dream about my abusive stepfather where he wants my brother and me to change his soiled diaper. He started abusing me at the age of three