child abuse story from Lyn page was created August 19, 2006 and was originally
posted on August 1, 2006 as story #25.
I received the additional submissions from Lyn through my physical child abuse effects comments form that was on this site at the time. Lyn gave her permission to post her comments here. She also sent an additional installment:
is from Banning, California, USA
following child abuse story from Lyn depicts violent physical abuse and
The child abuse effects on Lyn: suicidal tendencies, fear of criticism, experimentation with drugs, post traumatic stress disorder, general anxiety disorder, and recurrent major depression. Lyn also experiences dissociative episodes, has difficulty controlling her emotions, and questions her religious beliefs, all due to her abusive childhood.
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am proof that if abused children DO NOT deal with their abuse (getting
professional help at a younger age), it will rise up and overwhelm them when
there are current life crisis'--I wish I had known this. It has been hell. I
have tried to kill myself 5 times in the last 10 years--2 times I almost
succeeded (I just couldn't care enough to continue enduring the pain). I have gone
to counseling and skirted around what the real problem has been--too ashamed
and afraid maybe my Mother was right that I am a bad person.
am a mother of 2 grown children, and I NEVER abused them. It was easy for me to
see them as innocent children undeserving of abuse (unlike myself). Their love
for me is an amazement to me and difficult to understand.
was a 5th grade teacher for 11 years with a great reputation of being kind and
fair, until I contracted Multiple Sclerosis. I am not telling these things to
get a "pat-on-the-back". I state these things to show that there are
times that you can appear to be "normal". But, I was dying inside,
afraid of criticism and so I worked myself to the point of serious illness. I
had a very violently abusive mother and a passive or absent (due to extended
business trips around the world) father. She my mother used knives, hammers,
whatever was around. I have brain damage to my medulla oblongata caused by the
do not remember much of my childhood, but neither do my siblings. I was the 3rd
of 5 children, but the oldest daughter, and my mother had it out for me from
apparently the beginning, the beatings and screaming was pretty much daily. I
even have had dissociative episodes (but, thank God, I do not have multiple
personalities). My teenage brothers could not pull her off of me, so the best
they could do was hide my younger siblings in a closet (my sister is
claustrophobic). I remember suddenly standing between my brothers, watching, as
my mother sat on me and beat me--I saw her from her back!, but I could not see
my face. She has told me she hated me, and I torture myself with the idea that
maybe there is a reason for her hate--I just don't know what it is ...
am still on this journey, but I have a kind and very good (I've seen so many,
I'm an authority!!) licensed therapist who is one of 20 pastors in my church
(large churches here in Southern California). The church hired him for just
this reason--to counsel the hurting ... I have God/Spirituality issues because
of my family dynamics and he is gently showing me the real God of the Bible
I know this is a long story, but I don't know how to shorten it--what to leave out? My prayers are for my "fellow sufferers".
just a "footnote". I left home at 18 years and joined the US Air
Force. I was scared to death, but the beatings stopped and I could support
myself and later use the G.I. Bill to go to college ...
I experimented with various drugs while in the Air Force and the first time I smoked pot was the FIRST time I EVER remember being able to relax ...
I am diagnosed with PTSD post traumatic stress disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depression, Recurrent (at least that is what is in the charts).
I'm sorry about this email, but I am having difficulty with my memory due to
having medication resistant depression and I have now had 12 sessions of ECT
(known as shock therapy). I am not sure I will allow anymore done due to my
difficulty with memory and cognitive problems (usually they continue for life,
I'm told, but not with MY brain!)
made my "normal" life that I had carefully constructed come crashing
down, was my last year of teaching in 1996. I became privy to information that
our vice-principal was being sexually inappropriate with a Junior High young
lady (I had taught her in 5th grade), and that it had been covered up for 9
months by his "best buddy", the principal and the superintendent. I
had to become the whistle-blower, because no one else would.
was at the end of April (near the end of school) when I confronted the
principal (and called the abuse into the state department). From that time
forward, I received MAJOR harassment; the teachers would not stand with me out
of concern for their jobs, and the Pastor/elders immediately put me under
suspicion. When I called the state (twice) they told me THEY HAD NO
JURISDICTION OVER A PRIVATE SCHOOL! I didn't think this was true, but I
couldn't get anyone from that state department to listen to me.
principal manipulated my contract and had a new teacher sign it for the next
year (I had been there for 7 years with excellent evaluations). During this
time, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, because I was going blind in my
right eye AND my daughter had to be admitted to a hospital for 2 1/2months for
bulimia, not a good month and a half ... I finally had to ask for mediation and
had to hire a lawyer to get the church and school board to fire him! After 10
months, out of work with MS, depositions, hostile meetings and 10 hours of
mediation, the principal admitted, inadvertently, to the cover-up and they
found through reluctantly held depositions that the perpetrator had a long list
of questionable behavior. I was absolved, the students were safe from the v.p.
vice-principal, but my physical and mental health were a mess.
My daughter is doing great today, but all of this brought on Major Depression, financial ruin (they were told to pay me my salary for the lost year--but they didn't and it was a PRIVATE mediation company). THIS is what triggered my past overtaking my present.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
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Child abuse story from Lyn was re-formatted June 3, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life