This child abuse story from Kelsea page was
created March 8, 2007 and was originally posted on February 26, 2007 as story #86.
Kelsea is from Perth, Australia
The following child abuse story from Kelsea
depicts sexual abuse.
This story contains explicit content. I edited out the more graphic
details of Kelsea's story. My decision is not intended to invalidate, diminish
or in any way disrespect Kelsea, or her right to tell others what she lived
The child abuse effects on Kelsea: night terrors, flashbacks, Kelsea sees a counselor three times a week
Do you want to be heard? Share your story!
As of the time I wrote this, I am 18 years old
and my abuse only ended 2 years ago when I was 16. I am from a family with 7
My first memory of it happening was when I was
2 years old. My big sister was giving me a bath and my oldest brother (15 at
the time) came in and said he would finish. My sister left, and he sat next to
the bath and played with me for awhile. He then tickled me under the arm. I laughed
and he asked me why I liked being tickled, to which I replied, "It feels
good." He asked if I wanted to see where it felt best to be tickled and, being 2,
I said yes. He pulled his pants down and pointed to his penis. He told me to
tickle him there, and I hesitated. He pulled my hand and put it on his penis
and said to tickle, so I did. He told me what a good girl I was and said it was
his turn to tickle me. Trusting my brother and not knowing it was wrong, I did
so. After a little while he began to masturbate himself while still touching
me. After he climaxed he said that we had played a very special game which I
couldn’t tell anyone about because I would get in trouble. I didn’t think much
of what happened because I didn’t know any better. He did the same thing about
once a month for the next 2 years.
When I was 4, he got a bit aggressive with me.
He would make me masturbate him and hold my arms down when he was touching me.
This was when I started not to like it.
When I was 7, he would sneak into my room at
night and lay next to me and stick his hands down my pants while I was asleep.
One night he came in, woke me up and told me to masturbate him. I said I didn’t
want to play that game. He pushed me to the floor and said if I didn’t he would
hit me, so I gave in and started. He climaxed. I gagged on it and went to spit
it out. He grabbed my throat and told me to swallow it. I did. He went back to
his room and left me lying on the floor, crying silently.
When I was nearly 9, my brother started to actually
insert his fingers and other objects into my vagina. This hurt me, so I tried
to fight him off, but I was too small and he was too strong. He would get mad,
hold me down and if I still struggled he would insert something bigger into me
and be so rough that it would cause me to bleed.
Amazingly, after all those years, it just never
occurred to me that I could tell anyone. I thought it was something I would get
in trouble for, so I kept my mouth shut. This went on until I was 10, which is
when the worst moment of my life happened.
I was in my bed, awake, as I was too scared of
what might happen if I went to sleep. I heard the familiar footsteps coming to
my door. I pretended I was asleep. My brother came into my room, lay down next
to me and slowly crept his hands under the covers, over my stomach, chest and
bottom. I started to tremble with fear, which told him I was awake. He pulled
me onto my back to face him as he straddled me. For the first time, I saw a
look in his eyes that will haunt me forever. It was like there was no soul,
just emptiness. It was then that he ripped my shorts off and as I started to
struggle, he pulled a small pocket-knife from his pants, held it to my throat
and said that if I made a sound or moved a muscle he would slit my throat. I
was too scared to move. I just lay there, crying silently, wishing god would
save me. I cried out in pain when he penetrated me. He took the knife, made a
small cut on my chest and told me to shut the eff up. I cried and closed my
eyes. It was the worst pain of my life. He raped me 3 times, once making me
bend over so he could do it from behind. Then kissed me and left. This happened
most nights for the next 4 years.
Then I ran away to my oldest sister and her
husband’s house, not far away. I finally felt safe. Until my brother-in-law’s
son from another marriage came to live with us. He was 17 and he started to
abuse me. He would come into the bathroom while I was showering and touch me
and take pictures of me.
When I was 16 and my sister said she and her
husband were going out of town for the weekend, I was terrified. Her husband’s
son (19) decided to throw a party. He and his friends drank and partied while I
stayed in my room. Later he came into my room with 3 of his friends, tied me to
the bed while I slept, took off my clothes and took turns viciously raping me,
sometimes 2 at once and in my bottom. I screamed for help, but no one heard me
over the music.
That was the last straw. I finally told my
sister what they did. She and her husband called the police. They all went to
court, but only my brother-in-law’s son was found guilty, as they had the
pictures he took and no evidence on the other 3. He got 2 years in jail. 2
I never told my family about my brother, but even though I have no contact with him, I suffer from night terrors and flashbacks. I see a counsellor 3 days a week and am still trying to heal myself from the past. The past was bleak, but I know my future is bright.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Kelsea was re-formatted June 3, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life
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