This child abuse story from Hannah page was
created May 11, 2007 and was originally posted on May 2, 2007 as story #110.
Hannah is from Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA.
The following child abuse story from Hannah
depicts sexual abuse that includes torturous abuse, physical abuse, emotional
abuse and neglect.
The child abuse effects on Hannah: 3 teenage
pregnancies from family members, deep psychological scars
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Where do I begin?
I grew up in a Mormon home in Salt Lake City, Utah as the youngest of 15 and the only girl. My abuse started when I was about 3.
I was sleeping in my parents' room and all of a sudden, I felt my fathers hand unzip my PJ (it was a one piece). I pushed him away so I could go back to sleep, but he put his hand in my diaper and started to feel my private parts. This made me have to pee and I accidentally went pee on him. This made him very mad. He grabbed me and took me to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he stuck me in the tub and started rubbing my private parts with steel wool. I was crying like mad, but no one heard me.
I continued to sleep in my parents' room for the next year. Every night, when my father would get me ready for bed, he would make sure my diaper was loose so he could touch me all night long.
When I was about five, my oldest brother, who was 17 at the time, got the lovely privilege of having me as a roommate. When I was told I was going to sleep in my brother's room, my father sat both of us down in his room for a talk. In the room, my father told me to take my clothes off and lay on the bed. I cried and told him NO. But he took them off for me. Once pinned to the bed, he told my brother how to treat me at night. The abuse continued like that till I was 12 and I lived with different brothers, as they moved out of the house.
At that time, my parents had me drop out of school to learn how to be a wife. They sent me to live with a man in his forties, mainly because he spent good money for me.
My first night there, he tied me up in a cage and left me in the basement. The next morning, he took me out and strapped me to what looked like an exam table. He stuck his gloved hand where my father and brothers had. With a big smile, said he was glad I was a virgin. Moments later, he took my virginity. I screamed, but could do nothing to stop him.
After he was done, he put me back into the cage and let me sleep there for another couple hours. I woke up with a really bad urge to use the bathroom. After waiting another hour, I went in the cage. And because I was all tied up, it was all over me. About 2 hours later, he came down and was very mad at what he saw. He got a hose out and sprayed me with cold water. Once I was clean, he took me out of the cage and strapped me back down on the table. He said that would never happen again, and then inserted a tube into me and connected it to a bag and put a rubber tube up my butt hole. All of a sudden, water rushed into my butt and he let it run till I had taken 2 liters. The whole time I cried. I did not know why this was happening. After, he let me use the toilet, then he stuck a much lager tube in. I continued to cry because it was so big.
This man continued to use me for about a year. He was a doctor and knew lots of things to do to hurt me. He also let some of his med students use me too. I always had something in my vagina at his house. When I was 13, I returned home a much older girl than when I had left. Then I had found out the real reason why I had been abused. My father had always wanted more kids, but my mother could not have any more so he wanted me to be his child bearer.
From the moment I got home, my father locked me in my room. The only time I saw anyone was for a meal, which was served in my room or when my father had sex with me. Within a month, I was pregnant. I did not know what was going on in my body. This, however, did not stop my father from still having sex with me. Nine months later, I gave birth at home in my bedroom without medicine. It lasted for 18 hours. As soon as the baby was out, it was taken out of the room and given to my mother to take care of. After having the baby, I was allowed out of my room more, but was just abused by my brothers. Within three months, I was pregnant again. By the age of 16, I had had three babies. All of which my mother acted like they were hers.
When my oldest baby was 3, I started to sleep in my parents' room again because I was having trouble with my pregnancy and I need more supervision. I slept on the floor, next to their bed.
One night, I heard my oldest crying. I sat up. It was happening all over again. I told him to stop and I tried to grab her. At that moment, I looked at the sheets and saw blood. He had stuck his fat fingers in too far and ripped her in her privates. He threw me to the floor and kicked me in the privates. I knew I had to get my babies out of there
I made a plan to escape and it worked. I took the three babies and ran. I took no belongings. I was able to get to a police station and told them my story. They were shocked and called my parents in for questioning. That was the last time I saw them as free people.
They got sentenced to 25 years for what they had done. I went into a school for unwed mothers. I have gone through lots of counseling and I have been able to start a new life.
I am 24 now and have a husband, and there's a baby that was made from love on the way. My oldest daughter is 10. She is still going through medical procedures to correct what my father had done to her. I don't know if I can ever forgive then for what they put me through, but I am moving on.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the
Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Hannah was re-formatted June 1, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life